Let Love In
by itsfarfromnormal
Summary: What if we found it, lost it, and wanted it more than ever? A Sister Fic.
1. The Things We Can't Want

It's Thursday. Today is the day I give the speech. I hate giving speeches, I hate it when people get bored and stare randomly, or I hate it when they love your speech, they ask stupid questions that aren't supposed to have answers.

So I am sitting in this cramped metal desk tapping my pencil. I look at the teacher; he is one of those modern teachers, fresh from college. I don't see how they want to come back, I don't. I mean in high school no one is nice, you either make it out, or you don't. Why come back to live through it again? I won't.

I look over to see Collin, my best friend dozing off. I laugh, getting the attention of some people in my class. They all look at me, I slighting point to Collin, they understand and smile also.

Collin. He is a good kid, he is also a senior here, and he has been my best friend since my mom died, when I was twelve. Some people think we will date, I doubt it. He is more of my brother then a lover, and he knows it, trust me.

The bell rings and I almost fall out of my chair. "Hey take it easy!" Collin laughs.

I grab the rest of my things and walk out the door with him. "Shut up!" I give him a light push. "You are the one who fell asleep."

"Yea I know."

I grab my note cards from my locker and put my English book in. Collin is staring at me, his brown eyes are piercing holes right through my head. "What?" I ask.

"Are you really going to read it?"

I slam my locker, "Why not?" I ask him. "I think it will be a good thing, don't you?"

"They will find you," he tells me. "This speech will make some random blog. It's going to show up." _Yeah under what, the most screwed up kid walking the earth? _

"Let them find me," I sigh. "Anyways by then I'll be 18, then what?"

We stop at his locker, but he is still jabbering away. "It's just," Collin looks at me. He runs his hand through his blonde hair. "Maybe, we should skip," he offers me.

"Collin." I look around at the hall, it's full of people. "Look at them. They actually let me in…"

"Lynnie," he stops me by using my nickname. "They will find you. They will take you."

"Then I guess this will be my goodbye speech," I joke.

He doesn't find it funny as he glares at me. "Ashlyn, please don't do this."

We walk into the classroom, I shrug like its not big deal, but we both know that it is. I take my seat in front of Collin. I turn and face him, "They won't find me."

"And if they do?" He whispers as class starts.

"Class," Mrs. Callmena starts. "Today we are giving our speeches. You were supposed to explain yourself in this paper. You are seniors and we think that this is a strong thing for you to do, in alphabetical order starting with Jamie Ace."

That's great I get to sit through 23 boring speeches, mine will be the last one. Yipee! My will be the one that will be remembered. My speech pretty much highlights the parts of my life that were good, the parts with my brothers, Lucas and Nathan.

Collin kicks my desk when its my turn to go. I turn around and he smiles at me, I smile back with all the strength I have.

When I walk to the podium, I almost feel a wave of relief come over me. I set my note cards down and make sure they are in order; I look at everyone in my class. They all have high hopes for me, but I am about to kill them with this secret; and this is where it begins.

"When I was 12, my mother passed away from Breast Cancer and ever since then I have been fighting for my life. A lot happened that year, almost to much. That year I met my father, I met my brothers, and for the first time in my life I thought I found happiness. You all know my brothers, they are Lucas and Nathan Scott. You see them on TV all the time, but they have their problems, I am one of them.

You keep hearing about the little Scott who ran away, well here I am. I am going to school, I have a job, I have friends, and I just don't have my family.

When I found out I had to write this report I thought it would be simple, write down a few lies and call it a day. Lucky for you, I am going to tell you the truth.

My mom died when I was twelve, my dad didn't want me at birth, my brothers are my legal guardians, and everyone in my hometown either thinks I am dead or fighting for my life. You heard my life story, now what are you going to do with it?" I look at every person in my class, some don't know what to think, and some are shocked. Lucky for me the bell rings; I turn on my heel and head out the door into the rush.

After school I wait next Collins truck, normally he beats me hear, but today I beat him. So I wait, I am leaning against it when one of my teammates come up to me.

"Hey Baby Girl," He says. The whole team calls me that, I am the only girl on the basketball team, and they all think that they have to protect me.

"Hey," I squint at him.

"I heard about your speech," he tells me.

"What about it?" I ask him.

"Ash, what the hell where you thinking?" he asks back.

"I had to give a speech, Jon."

He puts both hands on my shoulders, "Why did you tell the truth?"

I can't even look at him, he sounds worried. "I thought it was time."

Jon shakes his head, "A secret that big shouldn't be told."

I nod understanding his point of view. "I know."

He kisses my forehead, "See you tonight at the game."

"I'll be there."

Finally Collin comes, he doesn't say anything. He unlocks the door and I get in, when we are clear off the parking lot, he looks at me. "Why did you do it?" he asks.

"Listen Collin, I know you don't understand, but I had to do it."

"Well can you tell me? I over heard the principle talking, they are coming."

I sink into the seat; I think this is what I wanted. "When I left Tree Hill, I said there was no looking back, but some things you can't let go of. I hid, and you understood that, then I came here, back where we grew up together." Collin nodded and listened. "When I saw Nathan on television the other night I cried, he still hadn't given up after 3 years. They feel guilt, that's what I feel," I tell him sharply, before I break down. "I want that life back; I think that's why I did it. I read that speech to prove to myself that I was wrong. I was wrong to leave Tree Hill. I love my life here, but right now I think it's too late."

As we stop at a stop light we see a limo drive past, Collin looks over at me, " Me too."

So I think I got what I wanted, but I don't know. I wanted them to find me, I want them in my life, but maybe I am not ready to move again. I honestly don't think I will ever be able to go back to Tree Hill.

I am sitting in Collin's room on his bed, while he is looking up stuff on the computer. "I never really told you why I left," I mention.

He nods. "I know." His face is to the computer, but I know he is pissed off right now.

"I have HCM," I mumble. I hear him gasp, but I look at the carpet. "I have had over 8 surgeries regarding it. It was no big deal at first, just go in hold Luc's hand, then I would wake up holding Nathan's hand." I start fidgeting with the blankets, I never tell this story because its to hard, and here I am on Collin's bed, telling him. "Then it slowly got more complicated, they said no more basketball, try not to run as much. They were slowly taking my life, Collin. That's why I ran." Collin came over and sat by me, "They were slowly taking my life, and …" Its getting harder to breathe. "They let them," I whisper.

Collin rubs my back soothingly. "That's not a reason to leave," he tells me.

I shake my head, " 2 days before my open heart surgery, I was at the park with Kendyal. A black mustang pulls up, and Dan comes out." I look at Collin and stare him down, "That man is why I left, I couldn't be there with him."

"I just don't get it!" He exclaims frustrated

"I am sorry to here that," I say a little to harsh. WE never used to be this way, I never used to have to tell him, he just knew. A lot of things have changed since that night, I think I lost my way to many times. I want Collin to understand, I really do. I want my brothers to understand, but right now I need Collin to understand. " I am sorry." I hug Collin for the first time today. I burry me head into his shoulder, and I let my tears fall.

"Hey," he soothes. "Don't cry. Its going to be okay."

I shake my head, "I don't think it is. I really messed up this time."

"We all mess up."

I wipe my tears and stand up, I grab my duffel bag and swing it over my shoulder, "Yea, but I fucked up! We don't all do that, do we?" I head towards his private exit. "Thanks Collin, I'll see you at the game right?"

"Low Post all night Baby," he brags. I laugh and leave his room.

As I leave Collin's house, I watch a man play with his daughter. The way he cared for her, the way he carefully picked her up and swirled her around his head. His daughter was so happy, they were in their own world. I used to get that feeling, before my mom died.

I hear my phone ringing from my back pocket. Its Jon, he set his ring to 'Cotton Eyed Joe'.

"Hey Jon," I answer.

"How are you?"

"Good and yourself," I ask him acting cool.

"Don't give me that fake shit. Where are you?"

"I just left Collin's…"

"Don't move, I'll be there I 15 seconds."

"Uh okay…"

"Start counting."

Jon has never called me and acted that way, but I guess I never told my secret until today.

At 13 seconds, Jon comes speeding around the corner in his father's ford. He comes to a screeching halt in front of me. Who knew Jon actually could drive? He motioned for me to get in, so I slowly walked over and opened the door. Before my whole body was in, we were speeding down the road.

"Jon!" I scream.

"Hurry up," he said strictly.

"Can I ask why you are acting like a moron?" I snap.

"I am saving your sorry ass," he barks.

"I am not sorry yet," I tell him.

"They are here Ash, they aren't leaving without you," he tells me.

"You don't get to say that." I want to scream at just grip something so hard that my fingers turn white. I want to leave again.

"Dan Scott is here, I saw him." Jon pulls up outside if his house; he gets out and opens my door for me. "Now what?'

And for once I don't think I have the answer.


	2. This Is The Way You Left Me

**Okay, so I should have posted this along with the first chapter but I really had no clue what I was doing! So This is my first ever story that I have ever posted anywhere, so please review and let me know if its good, or not, or whatever. So just let me know. **

**Title: Let Love In**

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned the boys! But mostly just Ashlyn and a few other future characters are mine. **

**Pairing: Nathan and Haley, Lucas and Brooke**

**Summary: They had a lot more in common than they wanted: Last name, a father, and the love of the game. What happens when one sibling runs away for the game, one gives it up, and one only knows the game? "So what if we found it, lost it and now want it more than ever?" **

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Once we are safely tucked inside, behind the door you look he looks at me with that grin. I guess I deserve that though, this is what I asked for when I came back.

He walks over to the frigde and without even taking his eyes off me he grabs at water and walks back over to where I am standing in the doorway with my bag slung over my shoulder.

"You okay?" He asks.

_Give me the strength to lie. _"Yeah," I nod. "Just peachy."

"You're head has to be in this game. We need this one more than ever," he tells me.

I throw my bag on the floor and walk to the couch. "I know." He takes the spot across from me, "I'm ready," I snap when he throws me a glare. "I am focused okay?"

He sends me a look, "If you're not okay, now would be the time to talk about it."

I take a deep breathe, "Would you be okay if you're father didn't want you? What about if you're mother died and left you with two amazing people and then you left?" My voice cracks. "Would you be able to sit around and tell me you're okay?"

We sit in silence.

"If it matters," he says. "I think you're dealing with this just fine."

These streets

_Turn me inside out_

_Everything shines_

_But leaves me empty still_

_And I'll, burn this lonely house down_

_If you run with me _

_If you run with me_

_I'll stay with you_

_The walls will fall before we do_

_Take my hand now_

_We'll run forever_

_I can feel the storm inside you_

_I'll stay with you_

_Fooled by my own desires_

_I twist my fate_

_Just to feel you_

_But you, turn me toward the light_

_And you're one with me_

_Will you run with me?_

_I'll stay with you_

_The walls will fall before we do_

_Take my hand now_

_We'll run forever_

_I can feel the storm inside you_

_I'll stay with you_

_Now come in from this storm_

_I taste you sweet and warm_

_Take what you need_

_Take what you need_

_From me_

_Wake up this world_

_Wake up tonight _

_And run with me_

_Run to me now_

_I'll stay with you_

_The walls will fall before we do_

_Take my hand now_

_We'll run forever_

_I can feel the storm inside you_

_I'll stay with you_

When the song is over, we have arrived at the school, we see all the reporters, and we see the police officers surrounding the building. I see that limo, and then I see his face, Dan Scott. Figures he brought the limo, because just showing up he wouldn't receive enough attention.

Jon grabs my bag from the back, "You ready?" he asks worried.

I nod. "I am not backing down this time."

"Good," he says sharply. Jon smiles as the Collin shows up, then

Mark and half the team. I slowly get out of the car. "We aren't backing down either." All the boys make a circle around me, then we slowly make our way to the gym, my_ team _surrounding me.

I watched as Dan tried to approach but Jon asked him to move, at first he hesitated, and then Jon said some comment. Dan looked at me, and then slowly backed away. He had some sort of concern in his eyes, but Dan Scott is never worried. I think I got what I wanted.

Selfish. That's what they called me on the radio. 'Ashlyn Scott was in need of some attention when she ran away 2 ½ years ago,' exact words. Maybe I am selfish, but I sure as hell don't need attention, I hate that. I hate being watched, but now I dug this whole, maybe I won't make it out, maybe I will, but if I am at the bottom I will be alone.

I am not a selfish person and I don't need attention. I needed a life that I was in control of, that's all.

I pull my sweatshirt off over my head and look at myself in the mirror. You can't see the tear stains, but my hair is a mess. I want to fix it, but I really don't have the strength. I don't think I can even play tonight, my stomach hurts.

There is a slight knock at the door. "You decent?" Its Collin.

"Yea."

He opens the door and walks right to me, he looks at my reflection and sighs. "Have you been crying?" I shake my head no. "Are you going to fix your hair?" Again no. "Are you ready to kill the Hawks?" I quickly shake my head no. "Are you all right?" This time I shake my head and fall into his arms.

"No." He keeps me against his chest, and I think I am staining his jersey, but he doesn't mind. I really need him to push me away, I need him to tell me to be strong, he needs to quit being my friend, he needs to tell me that I deserve this, he needs to do that. He won't.

I somehow look at him. "You were right. I can't do this."

He grabbed my shoulders and starts to shake me. "I am not right. I am never right about this shit, you are! You need this, you need to be strong, I don't care if it kills you, do it. Prove them wrong, no prove HIM wrong." He looks into my eyes, like he is searching for something. "If you are going to let him win, fine If you are going win, please go out there tonight, because he had nothing to do with this; nothing to do with who you are."

I give him a smile, a very weak smile. He grabs my forehead and kisses it. "Warm ups in five."

I am doing this for him. You didn't want me, you didn't want to see my face on day one. You didn't think I had a chance, you thought I'd fail. You told my mom that I was a mistake. Bottom line is you didn't want to claim me that day, when she died. You left me alone in her empty hospital room, I cried on no ones shoulder. I did it all alone. Why do you want me now? Well its to damn bad, because I don't want you. You had your chance to show your affection, too late. You thought I was going to give up, I didn't, and you did. I am doing this for you, Dan.

The reporters crowd the gym as we run out. The lights go dim and the show starts. The gym falls silent as I walk out, did they think I would give up? I try not to pay attention to all the fingers at my back.

I made a bold move; I put my last name on my jersey tonight. I ordered one and never put it on, but tonight I did. Tonight is different, tonight counts.

_There will come a time_

_They will pull you out_

_Its too late to change your mind_

The sweat is getting through my hair, turning it wet. I run up and down the court just like its my last time ever running again. They pass the ball back and forth, I run off the screen dump into me and _swish! _ This is my game, if I were you I start taking notes.

_Off the record, I've been saying_

_Cut the cord that's hanging you_

_On the record, information_

_Pretty soon they're selling you_

My defense is intense; this isn't a pick up game in the park. Somebody should have told the Hawks that. I can't help myself, this is to good to be true, my niece can dribble better. He goes up for the shot, unfortunately the balls comes back in his face. "Yea," I grab the ball and go for a lay-up. Cross over pass to Mack and a sweet dunk!

_Are you with me _

_Nothing to trust in_

_You have the answers?_

_What are the questions_

_Are you with me_

_Are you with me now_

At a half time out I scan the crowd, I find him. He gives me the Scott smirk. I smile like a bitch, and roll my eyes. He isn't my dad, and no one gives me that smirk. The gym once again falls silent and I try hard not to scream. Everyone's attention is shifted to the entrance. More importantly, Lucas and Nathan.

_Ones in your class_

_Ones a relative_

_Theyre just getting started_

_One waits in line (put you on)_

_One in the next car (put you on) _

Every time I get the ball it's a swish, a line drive or a foul. I go up for a shot, put am shoved by number six. Six has been an ass all night, he laughs and he knocks me to the floor. The whistle blows, I smirk at him, "Nice going," I joke as he tries to help me up. I line my feet up and shut my eyes, its no big deal I let the ball fly off my finger-tips. Nothing but net, I find Lucas in the crowd and point at him, "This is for you." Once again I shut my eyes; all I hear is a _swish!_

_Off the record, I've been saying_

_Cut the cord that's hanging you_

_On the record, information_

_Pretty soon they're selling you_

"Any comments?" One reporter asks me.

"Not to many, You?" I ask cocky. I really hate this attention thing. I grab Mack, "Here."

_Are you with me _

_Nothing to trust in_

_You have the answers?_

_What are the questions_

_Are you with me_

_Are you with me now_

As I walk through the crowd, I spot Dan coming towards me. "We need to have a talk young lady."

I shake my head, "Nah."

"I am your father." Bullshit. You will never be anyone's father.

"No not really," I tell him and try to get by. He stops me by walking in my path, "Move." He doesn't budge. "Fine Dan, be an ass." I turn around, and froze, right there in front of me.

"Hey Ash…"

Oh shit. This is what I was trying to avoid. No this can't be happening, not now, please someone just shoot me.


	3. Just Like A Tattoo

Okay, so I won't lie reading the reviews totally made me jump for joy.

Nicole, I am a sucker for little sister stories also, I love writing the connection between the brothers and her. So I hope that I don't let you down on the relationship!

Becki- Thanks for replying. I am glad that you read it and took the time to let me know that it can be confusing, I like to know that. Just let me know if you have a spots that utterly confuse you and I will try to clear them up.

Roses1619- Thanks for reading and I will keep on going…………

**Title: Let Love In**

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned the boys! But mostly just Ashlyn and a few other future characters are mine. **

**Pairing: Nathan and Haley, Lucas and Brooke**

**Summary: They had a lot more in common than they wanted: Last name, a father, and the love of the game. What happens when one sibling runs away for the game, one gives it up, and one only knows the game? "So what if we found it, lost it and now want it more than ever?" **

I smile sweetly, "Excuse me." I squish my tiny body right through the two of them. They probably think that I am ass, but I run as fast as I can to the girls locker room. I slam the door and run straight to the shower. I turn the water on, hot as hell, jersey and everything I step in.

My jersey is soaked, so am I. I stood in there so long that the water went cold. They are probably waiting for me, but I don't want to face them.

I take my time putting on my sweatpants and I have never cared how my hair looked, but spending five extra minutes making sure it looked good, didn't hurt. As I stood there, with my hair perfect, my sweatpants on and my black bra I looked at my reflection. All my scars, all my bruises that are around my heart, and I guess what really hurts is no matter how sick my heart gets, it still flutters every time they walk into my gym and watch.

I pick up my cell phone and dial Jon, knowing he is with Collin.

"Are you okay?" He asks right away.

"Yeah, I am fine," I tell him. I get right to the point, "Did you leave yet?"

"No." I can hear him telling someone to shut up. "I am in the bleachers waiting for you, actually we all are."

"Who is we?"

"They are here. I figured I would be your escape, so are you ready to go?"

I throw on my shirt and grunt into the phone.

I open the locker room door, I see Jon. "Yeah." Jon gets out of the bleachers so fast and runs to me.

"Ready to go?" I nod. He wraps his arm around my shoulder and leads me to the door. Halfway out the door, I spot Nathan and Lucas. I try to look away, but then I see Dan. "You know what?" Jon whispers. "Your dad is an ass."

I look at Dan then Jon. "Yeah he is an ass, but he is not my father."

Lucas and Nathan see us coming and jump towards us. "Ashlyn!" Nathan calls.

I want to stop, I really do. I tug on my sweatshirt and sip it all the way up and pull my hood over my head. I smile at Lucas and Nathan, they never were bad brothers, but I was a bad sister.

"Hey," Lucas greets me. _Please, just walk away, like I did to you. Please don't smile at me, I really don't deserve that. Please stop loving me, just stop._

With all the strength I have I weakly say, "Hey Luc."

Nathan smiles so bright when he hears my voice, I wish he wouldn't.

"You played great!" _Don't. Please don't tell me that, don't make me feel good._

I nod. "Thank you." I look into his eyes, his blue eyes. I know he is thrilled to see me, but I can't return the feeling, not yet.

We stand there in silence for a minute. _For second I thought I would walk away, but every time I looked in your eyes, they were calling me._

"Ashlyn," Lucas says.

"Can we not do this," I say.

"When do you want to," Nathan snaps quickly. I look at him, he really did miss me, he was scared, and he really needed me.

I look at the sidewalk ahead of us, I start fidgeting with my hands. Those are the first sings of failure.

Lucas points to my hands, "Some things never change." I tear my hands apart and grab for something else.

"Some things do." I start walking away.

"Just tell me something," Nathan calls. I turn at him, "Was it worth it? All of this," he points to the school. "Was it worth it, with out us?"

_No. It wasn't worth it, I can't tell you that though. It was hard getting on that bus, it was even harder walking of that bus, because the moment I did, it all changed. No Nathan it wasn't worth it, if I could go back I would, I promise._

I look Nathan in the eyes and shrug. "No," I whisper. I know he didn't hear me, but I really wish he did.

Getting in the car and watching them fade away in the review mirror wasn't easy. As it started to rain I pulled over on the side of the road, much to the dismay of Jon, I get out, and cry in the ditch.

That night falling asleep I don't know which was louder me sobbing or the thunder outside?

In the morning I look over at Jon, he is wide awake reading some article. "Hey," he greets me.

"What time is it?" I ask rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

"Almost ten, they stopped here. I told them that you would meet them at the park," He tells me.

"You what?" I asked shocked. "Please tell me you are kidding."

He shakes his head, "Ashlyn Scott, they are your loving brothers…"

"That I ran away from!" I remind him.

"Time to make peace," he jokes.

I jump out of bed and run at him. He stands up ready for a fight, "Why?" I ask him again. I can't do this. I am not even close to being ready I really want to run away again and I think Jon knows it.

"You can't run again. If you don't talk to them, you will." Jon grabs my wrist as I am about to hit him. "Ashlyn," He says. "What does the tattoo mean? If it has nothing to do with them, I'll let you go."

"How the hell do you know about that?" I snap.

"Right above your ass, right?" he says.

"Yeah," I whisper holding up my shirt.

He reads it out loud for me, "If you're a bird, I'm a bird." He traces it with his finger tip, "3, 13, 23."

I pull my shirt down, I shut my eyes and I turn to him. "They don't know I have it. Lucas would kill me and Nathan wouldn't talk to me. Brooke let me get it," I told him. "Happy? I'll go to the park."

Jon and I have always had this weird connection. His mom was my mother's best friend, and when my mother died Jon became very over protective. I never showed him the tattoo because he would have demanded that I get it removed.

"I like it," He finally says.

"You do?" he is probably feeding me a line of bull.

"I guess I have no choice."

"So you don't like it, and you are just saying you do?" I look him straight on in the face.

Jon looked at me and then sighed, "Shut up and get in the shower."

"You don't like it," I told him walking towards the bathroom. Wait. He knew where it was, how? In the bathroom door frame I turn and ask, "How long have you known?"

He laughs at me, "Don't worry about it." That's the thing, I have to worry about it, it's the only thing that make my life good.

When I was nine my mom took me to the park for the day, we got ice cream and fed the ducks. That day I felt like I was going to be okay, I felt alive, but I was only nine. I was at that age where having the same shoes as your best friend was cool, we all tried so hard to be just like each other, but that day I was free, I was me.

When I was ten, a year from that day my mom took me to the hospital, because I fell out of the tree in our back yard. That day I was scared, they hooked me up to machines and asked a thousand questions. That day was also the day I found out my mother had cancer. We were in room 201 when the doctor told her the test came back positive. That day was the worst day of my life, the day I truly thought I was going to die, the day I wish would have.

I am on my way to the park. I can see the green slide from here, where I am standing at the corner. I have been here for at least 15 minutes, I don't know if I should go anymore I am having second thoughts, then third thoughts and then fourth thoughts. I just want to turn around and walk away

from all of this, I did it once, and I know I can do it again.

As I approach the bench where they are sitting I notice that Lucas

hasn't changed much, neither has Nathan. They notice my presence and they both stand up, I smile at them.

"Hi," I quietly say.

Nathan smiles at my voice, "Hey Ashlyn."

"Hey Buddy," Lucas also grins. "Do you wanna sit?" he asks.

I shake my head, "Not really."

"We need to talk," Nathan says. I nod at him. "Let's walk then."

So we did, Lucas on one side and Nathan on the other.

"How have you been?" Lucas asks. I think he doesn't really understand how sorry I am.

"I've been good," I tell them both. Lucas and Nathan nod their head in approval. "What about you?"

Nathan smiles, "Good, I've been playing for the Lakers. Haley and I are still engaged," he smiles when he talks about Haley. "Its hard, but we had to wait until we found you."

Ouch. That one actually hurt, he waited for me, for his own wedding. "Oh," I say. "Sorry."

Lucas grins at me flinching, "Brooke and I are great, we had our baby boy…"

"Sawyer Keith Scott," I finish for him. He looks down at me, "I knew okay? Like 9 months old?" Lucas smiles and shakes his head yes. "Yeah, I'm an aunt, I know." He smiles, but doesn't ask how, and for once I think him not asking made me realize that I need him to ask.

We walk a little longer until I see a bridge heading over the water. Beyond there is a basketball park, I've been there many of times. I go there a lot to think, but its my place that I go alone. I quickly stop walking.

"Whoa!" Nathan says stopping also.

"We can't go over that bridge," I tell them quickly.

"Why?" Lucas rubs his head confused.

"We uh… just can't," I can't think of an excuse.

"Fine," Nathan groans. "We'll talk here."

Fine. God he is such a dick when he wants something, but I did runaway. We walk to the bench, just across the path and sit down.

"So," I say. "I'll start with I am sorry, and what I did was wrong, I know that now."

Nathan shook his head, "Why? Why did you leave?"

I laugh, "Nathan. You were letting them take my life away!" I defend myself.

"There were other options," Lucas says.

I turn to him, "Oh really? What? Having me hooked up to machines on a hospital bed. No thanks, I've been there."

"That's no reason to run," Nathan speaks up.

"Fine, but I still did." Give it up. I ran away, there is no going back, so Nathan deal with it.

Wait no that is a reason to run! "No." They look at me confused. "You let them take it away; piece by piece they were taking away my life. The good parts became hazards!" I exclaim. So much for staying cool. " I was slowly crumbling to the ground, it was like at the age of 15 my life was coming to an end. I wasn't ready for that, I wasn't ready to give it all up, Hell I'm still not ready!"

Nathan sighs, "Wow."

"What do you want from me?" I ask.

"Do you remember the day we found out you had HCM?" Lucas finally asks.

I nod my head. I was 13, I was in a car accident and my heart got screwed up. "Yea."

"I told you that we were going to get through this…"

"You watched them take my life away, I felt it," I remind him. "It hurts."

"No." Nathan snapped his head in my direction. "We felt it too. We were there the days you couldn't walk, the days when all you did was sleep and go pee. We were there when you didn't wake up for 3 days." He stared me down. "Ashlyn we felt it. The days you were drained, so were we." The tears are glistening through his eyes.

"I wanted you to fight it," Nathan finally says. "And you did. You were my idol, you've got to know that. But we felt it too, because I cried when you cried."

"Tell me Nathan, how did it feel when the said no more basketball?" I ask. A sharp pain hit my heart, that day I remember like the back of my hand.

Lucas takes a deep breathe, Nathan looks in the distance. They can't answer that question.

"I felt like I had no purpose; no reason to live," I tell them. Hot tears stream down my face; I have no intention of stopping them. "I felt like I wasn't Ashlyn Scott anymore. I didn't feel worthy enough to wear that name, or even have it. I thought my life ended that day in the doctor's office. I didn't feel like a Scott anymore." I have both of their attention, their full attention. "Basketball connected us. It was like this weird bond we had, the three of us against the world. Who would I be without basketball?

I wasn't ready to find out who I'd be." I stood up and looked down at the both of them, "I felt like I was that girl again, the one who had just lost everything. I felt the need to start over…" I start walking away. "Its not that hard, I felt like shit that day, what did you feel?"

Neither of them says a word. "I wish I would have felt that way," I snap. I hold my chin high, I will not cry, not here. I walk out of the park completely. I find my phone in my pocket, I dial Jon.

"Hello."

"I did it," I choke out. "I told them how it felt."

"Are you crying?"

"No," I say. "I think I am actually bawling…"

Truth is I really can't see straight, I don't know what the hell is happening. I try to cross the street but I hear a horn honking, I think it's too late. The pavement is cold, really cold, or maybe is that blood. Wait! Is that my fucking blood? Oh my god I am bleeding, did someone call 911? I would but I still can't see, actually I really can't hear anymore. Oh fuck… somebody talk to me, please.

I light squeeze is added to my hand, I don't know who it is, I can just see the outline of their body. Dark hair, they keep telling me to be strong, and they love me.

I smile like a fool not knowing who they are, "You shouldn't love me…"


	4. Look Heart, No Hands

**Title: Let Love In**

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned the boys! But mostly just Ashlyn and a few other future characters are mine. **

**Pairing: Nathan and Haley, Lucas and Brooke**

**Summary: They had a lot more in common than they wanted: Last name, a father, and the love of the game. What happens when one sibling runs away for the game, one gives it up, and one only knows the game? "So what if we found it, lost it and now want it more than ever?" **

Nathan, Lucas, Jon and Collin all sat in the hospital's waiting room. Lucas couldn't believe this was happening, Nathan was a wreck, he was still wearing his blood stained shirt.

Nathan had held Ashlyn until the paramedics came; they had to rip him off of her. Nathan remembered the last time he held her fragile body in his arms, 2 years ago at her best friends funeral.

_Flashback:_

_Ashlyn hadn't said a word all week, she was in a trance, she was sick, and Nathan couldn't let her do this alone._

_Megan Lush was hit by a drunk driver last Friday, she died at impact._

_Logan Street was hit head on by a drunk driver last Friday eve. Paramedics were able to get him to the hospital but died shortly after._

_Ashlyn Scott was hit by a drunk driver last Friday, after being in a coma for two days she is making a slow recovery._

_Ashlyn slammed the newspapers down on the counter, she was beyond pissed. She was furious at God and at herself. Nathan looked at his sister, she was staring at the paper, the front page, the article. He walked over to Ashlyn; he slowly picked up the newspaper and threw it away in the Trash._

"_I was reading that." Ashlyn started pacing through the trash. Nathan took a frim grip on her shoulders, he slowly pulled her away. Ashlyn tried breaking from his grasp, "I need that!" She shouted._

"_No." Nathan pulled her further away. "Ashlyn." He tried calming her down, but she was a determined to get that paper. "Ashlyn! You're going to hurt yourself!"_

_Ashlyn was crying, "I need that." Ashlyn turned in to Nathan and hit him, "Get off of me!" Nathan still had not let go of her. "Please," she cried._

_Nathan shook his head, "Ashlyn you are hurting yourself."_

"_No," she cried. "No I am not! Now let me have the god damn paper." Ashlyn gave one last try, put Nathan had wrapped a hand around her stomach._

_Finally he picked her up, this time she didn't move. Nathan took her up the long steps and laid her down on his bed. He tucked her hair out of her face. He gently kissed her forehead, "I hate seeing you like this."_

"_Why?" she asked. "I was right there. Right next to Logan, holding his hand. Why not me? Huh Nate?" She wiped the fallen tears from her face. "Why didn't I die? How am I supposed to go to their funerals? How? It should have been me!" She cried._

_Nathan shook his head. "Lyn, sweetie," He took her hand in his. "It wasn't supposed to be you." Nathan got on the other side off the bed, he took Ashlyn in his arms and slowly rocked her back and forth. "It wasn't supposed to be you." He kept whispering soothing words in her ear. "We need you baby," he told her. Nathan had a death grip on her, "I couldn't even imagine my life without you."_

Nathan had never thought about that day after it had happened, but right now in the Gradver Hospital Waiting room all Nathan could do was think. "We need you baby," he whispered to anyone who was listening, "we need you."

She really did change his life; I mean he stepped up to the plate. He was a brother, a father and he was her best friend, yeah, he had stepped up. Nathan had found himself and he let Ashlyn find herself as well.

Jon sat next to Collin, how had he gotten himself in this mess? Actually he had always been there; it was almost like she never even left him. Jon had to be a good man; he had to do what Ashlyn's mom would have done.

Jon stood up and dragged his feet over to Nathan and Lucas, they both looked him in the eyes. Jon took a deep breathe, "Hi," he stuck out his hand. "My name is Jon Street." Lucas looked at his hand and finally he shook it, Nathan did the same. "I've known your sister since day one. Her mother was my mom's best friend. When we were younger that girl scared the shit out of me." They all laughed together. "She scared me, because she was good, she wasn't afraid to tell someone how it is. That scared me a lot, then one day she used it on me, that was the day she left for Tree Hill. She looked me in the eyes and said 'I loved her, I loved this place, I loved basketball, and I used to love this life. Its time for me to go' she was my best friend telling me that she was leaving me. It hurt like hell."

Jon looked them in the eyes. "I was selfish when she moved back. I had your number, I couldn't call you though, and for that I am sorry. But the day her mom left, my mom drifted away, then my best friend moved away. So the day she came back, I felt like her mom never left. I felt like I never even lost so much." Once again Jon stuck out his hand, "So, my name is Jon Street. I have been your sister's best friend forever. I am 2 years older,but she was in my brother's grade, she knows what she did was wrong and I think that she ready to come home." He started to ramble. "You probably already know this, but Ashlyn hates that she left you."

Lucas shook his hand again. "I'm Lucas, but you knew that."

Nathan smiled at Jon. "You're a good guy and so was your brother."

Jon nodded in agreement, "Yeah we've hit a couple rough patches."

Nathan pointed to Collin in the opposite corner, "Will he come over?"

Jon shook his head, "No. He says he's fine, but he's not. Ash, was the only person who ever got that." Jon smiled at Collin.

"I bet."

Nathan walked into the dark chapel, he sat down in a pew and folded his hands together. He watched to figures come and go…

_When your parents see you for the first time, they have these huge smiles. The smiles that you only get when you really do something right; my dad never has given anyone that moment, that simple satisfaction. Not once._

_I want to give someone that moment, I want to tell some innocent child that they are amazing, I want to sing them to sleep every night, I want to hold them as they cry, I want to promise them the moon. I wanted to feel what it was like to be a parent for a long time, I wanted to give some little girl the world, then when I 18 I did._

_I gave my sister the world, she wanted it, and she got it._

_God, this is where I ask you to bend over backwards. Protect her from fear, protect when she is on that operating table. Please just look down at me, I am in a chapel, I am crying, and I am praying. You probably should take a picture, because if I am lucky I will never have to do this again._

Ashlyn POV

I am going to be fine. Wipe those tears from your check, unfold your hands and get the hell out of a chapel. Nathan I know you can't see me, but I am right above you, watching pray. I can tell you are kind of nervous.

The doctor in going to come out in 10 minutes looking for you. He is going to tell some information, its going to hurt. You might break down, but that's why you have Lucas and that's why Lucas has you. I know its going to hurt, because it hurt me.

Nathan Scott watched as a doctor in bloody blue scrubs walked towards him as he sat in the waiting room.

"Ashlyn Scott?" The doctor questioned carefully.

Nathan and Lucas nodded. "Lucas Scott. This is my brother Nathan." Nathan stood there in a daze, all he wanted to hear, was that his baby was fine.

"You boys may want to take a seat for this one." When neither of the boys moved from their standing positions, the doctor began. "Lets start with, my name is Doctor Tanger, and I operated on your sister. There was a lot of damage done to her lungs, which when she arrived had already collapsed. My team has fixed that. From her lung she has received a few broken ribs, but otherwise that area is going to make a good recovery." The doctor took out a piece of paper. "It says right here that your sister has HCM, from the impact and I imagine the shock of getting hit, your sister went into Cardiac Arrest. At this moment we are doing everything in our power to keep her alive. We had lost her for a moment when we were in there. We have the best machines in the state working along with her. Our nursing staff is in there at this moment," The doctor concluded.

Lucas ran his fingers over hem of his shirt. He was trying his hardest not to break down, not in front of all these strangers in the waiting room.

"Is she sleeping?" Nathan asked softly. "Or is she in a coma?"

"Your sister has slipped into a coma." Nathan started to crumble as he sat down. "I am so very sorry."

Lucas tried to smile through his shaking body. "What is her room number?"

"Room 233."The doctor smiled. "Don't loose faith, go visit and talk to her. We find that patients wake up sooner than later, when their family talks to them."

Lucas stuck out his hand. "Thank you, for everything."

"Remember don't give up, stay strong. And I will be in touch."

Nathan drug his feet as he opened the door to room 233. The sun was peaking through the windows, as he walked further into the room, he saw her. The sun danced over her porcelain skin, he walked closer to her body. She looked like she was in pain, her stitches, her black bruises, her casts, her broken smile.

Nathan pulled the covers up just above her waist line. "I heard through the grape vine that you are playing basketball without your meds." Nathan tried to be sarcastic but the tears were on the verge of falling.

Nathan let out a little chuckle. "Everyone thought we were in way over our heads, when we agreed to take you. My mom thought that I was going to kill you in the first week, and Haley, oh boy! She got me a thousand books on how to be a parent. They all thought that Lucas and I couldn't do it, and right now I think they were right… I don't think that I am strong enough to be a parent." Nathan sat there in silence. "You were _my _girl. My everything."

Why did this have to happen to her? His baby girl? His little once of hope that God just gave back, then so suddenly ripped it away, Nathan didn't understand this at all.

It was so quiet in the room that you could hear Nathan's tear drops hitting his hand which was tightly clamped over Ashlyn's.

"You know," He cried. "In all those damn books, not one told me how to say I love you. Not one. So this is probably the best that I can do." Nathan kissed Ashlyn's forehead. "I love you." Nathan slowly backed out of the room.

It was Lucas' turn.

"Hey Baby," Lucas said. He sat down in the big blue chair that was right next to her bed.

Lucas watched the machines, as the slow beat of her heart became louder and louder. Lucas couldn't handle it, he broke down. The doctor's voice was ringing through his head, "Stay Strong." How could any man in their right mind not come in here and break down. The stitches outlined her forehead and the staples went behind her ears and over her skull. The bruises were covering her arms, not just little dots here and there; her whole right arm was black and blue. Her stomach was huge, from what it looks like a massive cut, they must have wrapped it. He'd give anything, sell his soul to the devil, anything, he'd give anything to switch places with her.

"Its me, Lucas. Your… big brother. Today I don't want to be your dad, I don't want to be your hero, and I don't want to be your enemy. I want to be your brother, your best friend. Do you remember those days; the ones before all of this medical stuff, before all the complications." Lucas stroked the hair out of her face as he talked. "I remember your simple smile that you would give off at any moment; it was your way of saying 'I love you'." Lucas smiled, just remembering hers.

The tears stung his eyes and threatened to fall. Lucas' lips were trembling as he attempted to smile again. "So call me crazy, but I have some questions. I know you can't answer them, but maybe if I find the strength to ask… I'll find the simple faith that you gave me." Lucas had lost his faith 2 years ago when his sister ran away. He had lost to many things, but his faith was completely ripped away.

Lucas' head fell into his hands as he sobbed. Not once in Lucas Scott's 25 years, he has never cried this hard. He has let himself go.

"Wow. I am like a little school girl, bawling my eyes out." Lucas confessed laughing. He ran his fingers over her hospital band. "Ashlyn R. Scott." He read out loud. He stood up and fixed his clothing from sitting down. "Scott," He said. "That's what you are. Its who you are. We are fighters." He bent over and kissed her forehead. "I am going to give you my faith, because I think you might need this more than I do."

Lucas smiled and stepped back, "Oh and by the way, I love you."

Lucas and Nathan were it Ashlyn's room. They sat their waiting, praying and hoping.

_**Find me here**_

_**Speak to me**_

_**I want to feel you**_

_**I need to hear you**_

_**You are the light**_

_**That is leading me to the place where I find peace again**_

_**You are the strength that keeps me walking**_

_**You are the hope that keeps me trusting**_

_**You are the life to my soul**_

_**You are my purpose**_

_**You are everything**_

_**And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you**_

Lucas watched as a nurse changed the bandage around Ashlyn's gash right through the stomach. She was turned on her side and her ass was facing him. The nurse was showing Nathan, who was on the other side, the cut. Lucas was concerned about the marking above her waist . So he asked.

"Ma' am, what is the marking right there?" He asked pointing.

"Oh!" She cried. "That's a tattoo. Not from us though."

"What!" Both boys shouted.

_**Would you tell me how could it be any better than this**_

_**You calm the storms**_

_**You give me rest**_

_**You hold me in your hands**_

_**You won't let me fall**_

_**You steal my heart and you take my breath away**_

_**Would you take me in**_

Nathan came over next to Lucas

Lucas read it. "If you're a bird, I am a bird."

"3, 13, 23," Nathan echoed.

_**Would you take me deeper now**_

_**'cause you're all I want**_

_**You are all I need**_

_**You are everything, everything.**_

If you were to take on the world with one hand, you'd go down without a fight. If you were to take on a bear with one hand, you'd die. If you were to take on a human with one hand, you'd better have one hell of a right hook. There is a poem that is sometimes read at funerals that goes: Twso is better than one. For if one is down, you will always have the other to pick you up.

Lucas looked to Nathan, "And we thought she was all alone, but god dammit she never lost us."


	5. Songs About Rain

Lucas couldn't believe that she had gotten a tattoo. Well actually he could. She had asked him, and of course he said no, so Ashlyn went to his weakness, Brooke. Brooke said that she thought it was okay, Lucas still said no, Brooke gave up, or so he thought.

Lucas got up from his chair and smiled at Nathan who had finally fallen asleep. Lucas opened the door and walked into the hallway. He sat down on a bench and pulled out his cell phone.

"Hello."

Ah her voice sounded so sweet. "Hey Baby. How are things at home?"

"Lucas!" She squealed. "We miss you! Things are great here. I can't wait to see Ashlyn again, when are you guys heading home?" Brooke asked.

Lucas sighed. He had to tell her. He wouldn't be a coward, he was going to tell her. "Brooke, something bad has happened."

Brooke gasped. "How Bad?"

"Ashlyn was hit by a drunk driver. Nathan and I have been sitting around waiting all day…"

"Waiting for what?' Brooke asked worried. When Lucas didn't say anything she spoke again. "Lucas please just tell me."

"She is in a coma. They don't think she will be okay." Lucas spoke very soft, he spoke very calm, but most of all Lucas spoke with pain.

"Oh God!" Brooke cried. "They don't know if she'll be okay? How can't they know! Huh? They are doctors, this is their life!" Brooke was yelling at the wrong person, but she couldn't handle any more disappointment. This was all her fault, nobody but Brooke and Ashlyn knew that. But his whole mess was her fault. "I'm coming. I'll pack a bag for myself and Sawyer. Hell, Haley is coming too."

"Maybe, you should stay at home," Lucas offered.

"When I want your opinion Lucas Scott I will ask!" Brooke snapped. "I am a big girl and I am coming to see Ashlyn."

Lucas was defeated. "Fine. I will talk to you when you get in." Lucas noticed Nathan peaking his head out of the door. Lucas signaled at him. "I love you."

"Take care of our baby. I love you. Bye." _Our baby? Which one, the one that's in a coma, or the one that you have? Because I've failed at both._

Nathan sat down next to Lucas. "Brooke?" He asked referring to the phone conversation.

Lucas nodded. "Yea. She is coming down here. I think Haley might too." Nathan nodded and put his head in hands and sighed. "Hey, what's up?" Lucas asked him.

Nathan shook his head. "It's just, what if she doesn't wake up?" Nathan sighed in frustration. "What if the last thing she ever says to us is that we shouldn't love her! That's fucking cruel, but what if its all we get?" Nathan shook his head. "I would never forgive myself."

Dan Scott sat in the lobby of "Holiday Inn". He sat in the corner chair; his brief case was on the floor in front of him. Dan kept a slick smile on his face, he was waiting, any other man would be nervous, would be worried about what he was about to do. But for Dan Scott this was just another day in the big leagues.

As the may approached him, Dan sat up straight, he motioned for the man to follow. Dan got up and turned to walk away, allowing the other man to pick up the brief case and turn to leave the building as quickly as he entered.

Out side a block away the man opened the brief case. 50 grand was there along with the note.

_Nice Job!_

_Here's the money, all should be accounted for._

_Thank you,_

_Dan Scott._

_At least someone understands that if I can't have her no one can!_

Lucas watched out the window as the rain fell. The small drops were forming on the window and then they would slowly trickle down. He looked over his shoulder, there was still no change. He smiled sweetly, Ashlyn loved the rain.

_Flashback:_

_She has just buried her mother, she had just put apart of herself in the ground. Ashlyn was sitting on the deck of Karen and Keith's. She still had her black dress on; her hair was slowly turning into small little curls as the rain hit it. Her make-up was smearing down her cheeks, you couldn't tell the difference between the tears and the rain. It all looked the same._

_Lucas sat down next to her; he rested his head on his knees and looked over at her sad face. It killed Lucas to see her hurt. "How are you feeling?" Ashlyn looked down into his eyes and simply shrugged like she had no care in the world. Lucas chuckled lightly, "Now how about the truth?"_

"_I don't know." Ashlyn looked at him. She pulled her knees into her chest. "I mean I honestly don't know how I am feeling. I mean I know I am sad, but everything else… its something I've never felt before."_

_Lucas patted her back. "Well what about this rain?"_

"_She's in heaven." Ashlyn smiled. A real smile. "Before she died she said that she's send me a sign, saying she's okay." Ashlyn held out her hands and let the rain hit her skin. "She's in heaven Luc." Tears were rolling down her cheeks. "My mom is in heaven Luc. It's raining." Ashlyn wiped her cheeks causing her make-up to go every which direction. "Its over, my mom is heaven. No more smiles, no more jokes…"_

_Lucas stopped her. "I love the rain."_

_She looked at Lucas in a daze. She was rambling and there he just cut in, he made her think about what to say next. "Me too." Ashlyn stood up and walked onto the sidewalk, she started turning in circles, she tilted her head up to the sky. Lucas soon joined her. "I love the rain!" She announced. "I feel so…"_

"_Alive. Free." Lucas threw out those words but she shook her head._

"_I feel at home. I feel loved." Lucas stopped moving and watched his sister move freely about. She felt like she belonged someplace, she felt like she belonged in the rain. Lucas will never forget that, every time it rained, no matter what, Ashlyn had to be there._

Lucas smiled remembering that spark that she had. He loved that spark, and now as he stares down at this motion less body, he would do anything to get that spark back.

Nathan came walking into the room, he was soaking wet. He walked over to the window, he pulled down on the bar, and the sound of the rain hitting the pavement filled the room. Lucas smiled at his younger brother.

"What? She loved the rain."

"I know." Nathan stood next Lucas as the both watched their sister, they took in her beauty. Lucas sighed, "She's has to wake up."

"I know." Nathan replied with no emotion at all.

_-------------------- _

Jon had brought by everything that he thought she might want, he had packed everything up in nice neat boxes. He had left out a note book, and a guitar, everything else was packed up neatly.

Nathan was strumming his fingers over the strings on the guitar. "Here Comes a Regular." Lucas looked over at him confused. "Her favorite song was, 'Here Comes a Regular.' Peyton took her one day and she came back and loved that song."

Lucas nodded. "I remember." Lucas was reading her notebook. It was so deep, it was so real, it was Ashlyn. But this one stuck out, it was a speech. Not the one that she gave 3 days ago, this on was different.

_I have found some strength, here at this school. I have found some simple place that needs me, not just to win a simple basketball game, I have found a place that needs me to be strong. It needs me to be a hero. I can do that, I can be a hero._

_I have many heroes, some are more than others. Some just simply are true heroes, they get up everyday with the energy to fight back. The strength to carry on when no one else can, they keep their heads held high, not just in front of the media, in front of me._

_My heroes are simple human beings. My heroes are my brothers, Lucas and Nathan. Don't tell me I can only have one hero, don't tell me that I can't have two. If you asked me whose side I am on between those two, I would look you in the eyes, then turn around and run. I wouldn't be able to choose, I know, crazy, right?_

_When someone reaches in and touches you life, you find that they will always have a certain spot in your heart. When two people reach in and touch your life, you start to appreciate it a little more._

_My heroes, are my legends, my guilt, my strength, my heroes are my brothers. Nathan and Lucas Scott._

_------------ _

Brooke stormed through the Scott household trying to find her credit card. "Where the hell is it?" she exclaimed. Brooke went through the papers on the counter, "Ugh!" She cried in frustration. She went to grab the phone when she heard Sawyer let out a needy cry.

Brooke picked up Sawyer and soothed him as her started to whimper. "Shh, mommy is here." She looked down at his cute angelic face, "Hi. Hey you!" A smile spread across his face. "Daddy is going to be thrilled to see you! You're getting so big, so big!" Brooke teased. "Yes, yes you are!"

Haley helped Brooke get her bags packed in the back of the car. They both hoped in and were on their way. Haley sighed. "What were we thinking?"

Brooke sank into her seat and shut her eyes. "I keep telling myself that it was for the best."

"She's in the hospital…"

"I know where she is!" Brooke snapped. "She needed the freedom. She needed to start over."

Haley nodded. "But she really needed to found again. She needed to be rescued. We knew that, right? I mean we weren't completely stupid when we let her go, were we?"

Brooke shook her head. "She's in the hospital Haley." It had finally hit Brooke. "She's there because we let her follow her dreams."

------------

Dreams. Dreams, can either make you jump for joy or leave you lying on the hospital bed, on life support. Most people will encourage you to follow your dreams, don't let up until you have reached them. But when you're at the top, or when you have finally met your dream, if you're the president of a club, or maybe its as simple as speaking to your dad after he left you. No matter what your dream is, it really sucks when you reach it and you are all alone.

Nathan and Lucas have sat in this room for over one day. Lucas has not fallen asleep once, but he sits there and encourages Nathan to get some rest.

Haley and Brooke are an hour away. Haley called ten minutes ago to let them know they were almost to the city. Brooke hasn't said one word the whole ride, she is wrestling with the fact that Ashlyn is on life support because of her stupid mistake.

"I'm going to tell him," Haley said.

"You can't." Brooke smiled sweetly. "You can't break this promise. It's killing me Haley, but look at how much she trusts us…"

Haley laughed bitterly. "I love her to death to death, I really do. I put her before I even think about me or Nathan. We have to tell. It's the right thing."

"No." Brooke slammed her hand on the dashboard. Haley turned and looked at her with an expression that couldn't be read. " Think about it, no one stopped you from going after your dreams. We all know we should have stopped you, but we didn't."

"So, now we are going to compare her to me." Haley was getting angry. "I guess you're right. Maybe I should lie some more, hell we are so good at it!" Haley says sarcastically.

Brooke didn't look at Haley. "That's not what I meant. Let them get back to where they need to be, then, I guess, then, I'll let you rip away that happiness. Just let them have that, just for a while."

------------

Nathan stood up and started stretching. He hated hospitals, one because they smelled funny, and two, his sister was always the one lying on that bed. Lucas just flipped through the notebook, he smiled at the words, at the art work. Just as he shut the notebook, something fell out.

Nathan picked up the CD that landed right next to his feet. "What's this?" He asked Lucas.

"I don't know. What does the label say?" Lucas asked him back with a cocky grin.

"There isn't one." Nathan said also smirking. "We would be really bad brothers if we listened to it…" Nathan hinted.

"Oh we'd be hated." Lucas grabbed the CD player that was sitting next to him. He plugged it in and then he grabbed the CD from Nathan. "We are so going to hell."

"We already knew that." Nathan joked. "Now play the damn thing."

------------

Brooke opened the door to the Hospital and Haley walked in behind her carrying Sawyer in her arms. Haley took the lead as she headed to the front desk.

"Hi, my name is Haley and this is Brooke. We were wondering if you could point us in the direction on Ashlyn Scott's room, please." Haley smiled and waited for the girl to give them the directions that they needed.

The little old lady, crinkled up her nose, she started typing on her computer. "Its says here, Ashlyn Scott, just released from the ICU. Lets see, um room 233 on floor 6." She looked up at them and smiled. "Have a nice day!"

Haley was walking down the hallway, counting the numbers as she walked passed them. Brooke was hot on her trail, speed walking was not getting them there fast enough. Haley suddenly stopped, causing Brooke to run into her.

"Haley! Would you at least…" Brooke whined.

"Do you hear that? Listen." Haley hushed her. They heard music coming form inside her room. Haley knew without a doubt, it was Ashlyn. Her mother wrote that song along time ago, it was Ashlyn's favorite and she always sang it.

Inside sat two amazed brothers. That was there sister on that tape, her voice made both boys smile, it made everything seem like it was all going to be okay, maybe it will be okay. Nathan was holding her hand as he listened to her sing, Lucas just sat there completely amazed, that was his baby sister.

"_I don't think that passenger seat_

_Has ever looked this good to me_

_He tells me about his night _

_I count the colors in his eyes_

_Don't ever fall in love_

_He swears, as he runs his fingers through his hair_

_I'm laughing 'cause I hope he's wrong_

_And I don't think it ever crossed his mind_

_He tells a joke, I fake a smile_

_But I know all his favorite songs_

_And I could tell you_

_His favorite color's green_

_He loves to argue_

_Born on the seventeenth_

_His sister's beautiful _

_He has his father's eyes_

_And if you ask me if I love him.._

_I'd lie_

_He looks around the room_

_Innocently overlooks the truth_

_Shouldn't I like your walk_

_Doesn't he know that I've had it memorized for so long_

_He sees everything in black and white_

_Never let nobody see him cry_

_I don't let nobody see me wishing he was mine_

_I could tell you_

_His favorite color's green_

_He loves to argue_

_Born on the seventeenth_

_His sister's beautiful_

_He has his father's eyes_

_And if you ask me if I love him.._

_I'd lie_

_He stands there, then walks away_

_My God, if I could only say_

_I'm holding every breath for you_

_He'd never tell you, but he can play guitar_

_I think he can see through everything but my heart_

_First thought when I wake up is_

_My God, he's beautiful_

_So I put on my make-up and pray for a miracle" _

There was a muffled sound from the bed. Nathan thought she was going to say something. They waited, with their mouths open, but nothing came. Nothing at all. So they went to the music, they went back to the only thing that they had.

"_Yes I could tell you_

_His favorite color's green_

_He loves to argue_

_Oh, and it kills me_

_His sister's beautiful_

_He has his father's eyes_

_And if you ask me if I love him.._

_If you ask me if I love him.._

_I'd lie"_

Neither of the boys knew what to say, Nathan smiled for the first time all day. "That was…"

"Wonderful." Lucas finished for him.

"You were right." Nathan said. "We are so going to hell."

The door swung open and there stood a tear stained Brooke with a hand on her hip. Haley came into the room next, she was smiling through her tears. Haley walks right over to Nathan who wrapped his arms around her and the tiny infant that was she was still holding.

"I missed you." Nathan kissed her sweetly on the lips. He took Sawyer from Haley. "Hey Superstar! How are you today?" Nathan started tickling his stomach getting Sawyer to giggle a little.

"Give me him!" Lucas took Sawyer into his arms. "Daddy, missed you." Sawyer took Lucas' fingers like he normally did. He could sit for hours and still be amazed my Lucas' hands. "I want you to meet someone." He took Sawyer over to the edge of Ashlyn's bed. He put Sawyer in front of her limp body, "This is Ashlyn. She is going to be your aunt."

**Thanks for the wonderful reviews. I don't think that I will be able to update for a good week, I have term finals, and I really need to study….so hang in there, please. How about if I get at lest five reviews, I will write extra hard and maybe by next Sunday, you'll have a fresh chapter. So hit that review button. **

**Also, here's a nice preview: **

_** "No, we did nothing." Lucas said. "You taught that girl rejection, you made her cry, not me; not one tear has rolled down her cheek from me." Lucas took a step forward, not in anger, but he stepped forward in confidence. "Don't tell me that I taught her lies. I taught her the truth, and god damn it if you don't leave, I'll teach you a few things!" **_


	6. Loud and Out of Key

**AN: Okay thanks so much for the wonderful reviews!! I am so glad that you liked that chapter. Phew, finally done with finals and ready for thanksgiving break. That song in the previous chapter was "I'd Lie" by Taylor Swift. I was planning on crediting all the songs that I use at the end, but I don't want people to think that I wrote that song, because I didn't. **

**So this chapter was probably a little more than what I was hoping for, so I hope you like it. **

**Oh and I made this goal that I want to have at least 20 reviews by the 8****th**** chapter, so if you could help me out and beat my goal this chapter it would really make my day! As promised……**

* * *

Lucas handed Sawyer to Nathan. Lucas wrapped an arm around Brooke and kissed her temple. "She's going to be fine."

"Stop." Brooke croaked. "Just stop lying to me, just stop."

"Hey, we are going to go down to the food court. Want anything?" Nathan asked grabbing Haley's hand.

Brooke and Lucas both shook their heads. As soon as they heard the door shut, Brooke fell into Lucas and started sobbing. Lucas stroked her hair as she cried. "Baby, shh. Its okay. She will be fine."

"This is my entire fault." Brooke cried.

Lucas laughed at his wife. "Brooke, this isn't your fault. Trust me." Brooke knew she should have said something, but she couldn't bring herself to say it. So, Brooke just let Lucas hold her and soothe her as she cried.

"Lucas, what if she doesn't wake up?" Brooke asked. "What happens?"

"We won't have to find out what happens," Lucas told her. "She's a Scott, we're stubborn as hell, and we don't give up." Lucas kissed her temple again, "She's a Scott."

--------

In the food court Nathan, Sawyer and Haley were sitting at a table eating some ice cream. Nathan was trying to feed Sawyer, but he wouldn't eat anything. "Ugh!" Nathan complained. "What kid doesn't like ice cream?"

Haley laughed. "I know he does. Maybe he's just not hungry." She ran a hand through her long brown hair. She noticed that Nathan was looking at her funny. "What?" She asked defensively.

"You are going to make me ask?" Nathan laughed. When Haley didn't respond he sighed. "Okay, what's wrong?"

"Its nothing." Haley said digging into her ice cream, trying to avoid the subject.

"Yeah it is."

"How would you know?" Haley asked challenging him.

"I always know when it's something, trust me I just do." Nathan said. Haley looked at him funny. Before she could even question, he started to explain himself. "When you stop smiling, its not that bad. When you tell a lie, its normally something bad. I always know that its bad, when you cry. And you have been crying. Don't deny it, because you can put on lots of cover-up, but I always know when you have been crying." Nathan concluded with a smile. "So, what is really bothering you Hales?"

Haley smiled at him, it was a sweet smile. "I don't want to tell you." She sighed heavily. "Nathan I really messed up this time." She took Nathan's hand that was on the table, she took it up to her mouth and kissed it gently. "I love you, I really do. Its just that this time, I need to do this on my own."

Nathan smiled at her. "Alright, just know that I am here." Haley nodded at him, letting him know that she was alright. "What do you say, Sawyer lets go look at the nursery." Nathan stood up and started heading for the trash. "Haley?" He asked when Haley stayed put. She looked at him. "Hales, baby, are you coming?"

"Uh…" Haley hesitated. She shook her head like a little girl. "I guess." She stood up and caught up to Nathan; he wrapped his arm around her waist and guided her out.

* * *

_Have you ever had a dream that you wish you could go back to? You would try to recreate that dream until you finally found it again. Most people don't realize how blessed they are, they forget to take in the moment. Once that moment has passed they find themselves hoping that it will come back, and then they promise themselves that once it comes, they will truly enjoy the moment. _

"This is boring," Brooke whined. She couldn't stare at Ashlyn anymore without feeling like it was all her fault. If she started to cry, she wouldn't be able to stop.

It had been two days since they got there, meaning Ashlyn has been in a coma for 4 days. Brooke was sitting in a chair next to Lucas'. Lucas was holding a sleeping Sawyer. Haley and Nathan were sitting on a couch that they had pulled closer to the bed. Haley was resting her head on Nathan's shoulder playing with his ring.

"Well Brooke we are in the hospital," Nathan reminded her. "What do you want to do, huh? Throw a party." Nathan said.

Brooke rolled her eyes at Nathan. Brooke stood up, "Okay I would like a moment alone."

"What?" All three said in unison.

"I said that I wanted a moment alone." Brooke sighed. "You all got a moment, and now I want mine!"

"Okay, okay." Haley said standing up. She pulled Nathan up with her. "We're leaving, happy?"

"Nope. A little faster." Brooke laughed as she pushed her husband out the door. She shut the door, and walked back to the bed. "You look beautiful." She told Ashlyn. "It reminds me of homecoming your freshman year." Brooke sat down in the chair. "Do you remember all that make-up we went through? Or what about the dresses Haley and I made you put on?" Brooke ran a hand through her hair. "You looked so pretty! Lucas and Nathan were so worried that some drunk senior was going to hit on you. You got all mad when they came to the after party, you didn't talk to them for a week." Brooke laughed as she talked.

She grazed her thumb over Ashlyn's knuckles. _Who could do this to a person? _"So in case you're wondering, I'm not going tell them. Haley thinks we should, she's probably right, but I need you to wake up first." _I really need you to wake up. _

_

* * *

_

Haley sat back in the chair, she watched as people came into the hospital and talked to the person at the front desk.

Haley elbowed Nathan, "Is that Dan?" She whispered.

"It can't be." Nathan squinted to get a good look. "Lucas." Nathan said in a strict voice. Lucas looked at the same thing and sent Nathan a glance and they both got up. Sawyer was handed to Haley and Nathan kissed her forehead. "No matter what happens, don't move." Nathan ordered her.

"Nathan…" Haley tired stopping him. He kept walking, they both did, the Scotts were about to have a horrible family reunion; Father against sons.

Lucas was the first one to speak when they came face to face. "What do you think you are doing here?"

Dan smirked. "She is my daughter."

Nathan snorted. "No. Don't you dare call her that." His voice boomed with anger and pain. His fists were clenched and he was ready to fight.

"Dan, just go home." Lucas instructed.

"Yeah Dan, just go home. I don't think anyone wants you here." Nathan added.

"Aren't you two cute!" Dan exclaims. "My sons, we are only missing one person: Ashlyn! Now why is she here? Oh that's right! You let a car hit her!" Dan pushes their buttons waiting for a reaction.

As if on cue, Lucas lunged at Dan. Nathan grabbed his older brother, just then he raised his arm to take a swing. "Lucas." Nathan wrapped his arms around him, preventing him from hitting anyone, let alone Dan or Nathan. He shoved him back, further away from Dan. "C'mon Luc, get it together."

Lucas shrugged him off. "You are going to let him talk about her that way?" Nathan didn't say anything for a moment.

"Normally you are giving me these speeches, so excuse me if this isn't perfect." Nathan said as Lucas started to smile. "You can't let him get to you."

"That's all?" Lucas asked, as Nathan turned to walk away.

"Like I said, you always give me the speech, I don't give it!" Nathan said. "Plus, I want to kick his ass, and if I bitch at you, who is going to have my back?"

"Good Point."

"Everything settled ladies?" Dan asked smirking at the brothers as the came back.

"Dan," Nathan said calmly. "Maybe you should go…"

Dan laughed. "She is my daughter, and I will see her. I don't care what laws I break!" Dan said.

"Just go." Lucas said. "No one wants you here. I don't think Ashlyn would even want me to say your name."

"You have taught that girl lies!" Dan exclaimed.

"No, we did nothing." Lucas exclaimed loosing it. "You taught that girl rejection! You made her cry, not me; not one tear has rolled down her cheek from me." Lucas took a step forward, not in anger, but he stepped forward in confidence. "Don't tell me that I taught her lies. I taught her the truth, and god damn it if you don't leave, I'll teach you a lesson!"

Dan laughed. "You've grown up."

"Five years, a wife, a kid, yeah it does that to a person." Lucas agreed smiling. "It didn't to you, but then again, I'm nothing like you."

"Oh but you are." Dan smirked at him, "You both are." Dan gave the famous Scott smirk. "You left her alone, see you are just like me…"

A solid fist came into Dan's jaw sending him to the floor. Nathan smirked as he stood over his father; he shook his fist while Dan wiped the blood coming from his jaw. "I am nothing like you!"

"Nathan. Lucas." Haley said quietly. They turned their attention to her. "Ashlyn, she is um…." Haley hesitated to finish, when behind the boys stood Dan, with an angry scowl and a gun in his hand.

* * *

_Some people find it in their hearts to forgive the all the bad men in this world. They cave in, at the most delicate situation. They are forced to go against their morals, everything they believed in. They forgive the men that have taken their son's to war; they forgive the men who bullied their child to suicide. People forgive horrible creatures and their horrible deeds without even thinking it through. They do it out of fear, fear of loosing so much more. Once you loose something you fight like hell to keep your life at some sort of normalcy, you convince yourself that you can't go back to that life…_

He held that gun, shaky and scared he pointed that gun, at his two sons. Thoughts were running through his head, thoughts that were not telling him to stop. They were telling him that he was right; he had to hold this hospital hostage, just to see his daughter.

"Haley, what is it?" Nathan asked still not realizing his was standing in a line of fire. Haley pointed her shaky finger at Dan. She slowly backed further and further away. When Nathan turned around there was a gun pointed at his forehead. "Dan."

Lucas had also noticed and turned around. His own father was pointing a gun at him, his own flesh and blood had a gun directed at his forehead, and all he had to do was pull that trigger and Lucas' life would be over. Lucas shook his head and sighed, his life probably was going to end right here in Gradver Hospital Waiting room. He hadn't even got to see his sister smile one last time.

"Who's the one in control now?" Dan laughed as he firmly stood his ground, holding that gun in his own sons direction. "That's right I am! You will do as I say…"

"Dan, put the gun away." Lucas tried his hardest not be harsh. "Just put it away, and everything will be okay."

"No!" Dan yelled at Lucas, causing both boys to flinch. "I have the gun Lucas! I am in control, and if you ever want to see your sister again, you will shut your mouth." Dan demanded both boys.

"Would you?" Nathan finally spoke. "Would you shoot your children?" Nathan shook his head, of course he would, its _Dan Scott. _

Screams. Running. Over the loudspeaker came a voice, "CODE RED! I REPEAT CODE RED!" Nurses, Doctors, Patients and Visitors all were screaming running around trying to take cover. People in the waiting room hid behind knocked over couches, and chairs. Children and adults were crying, most were scared that someone would die.

Haley held Sawyer tight in her chest. She didn't let her grip loosen once, she would protect him as if her were her own child. She stood in the middle of the room, people were behind couches and chairs, but Haley stood there in a daze. She watched as Dan pointed a gun at the two greatest men in her life.

Haley felt a tugging on her leg; she looked down and saw a woman. "Ma'am get down here. What you doing standing' up there?" The woman scolded Haley. She crunched down and scooted in next to the woman behind the couch. "Were you trying to get yourself killed?" She asked taken back.

Haley shook her head. "No. God no." Haley peaked over the rim of the couch, "You see that man?" Haley pointed to Nathan. "The one with dark hair, he's my husband. The blonde, this is his son." Haley showed her Sawyer who was still against her chest. "The man holding the gun, yeah, that's their father."

"That man is holding up his two boys?" The woman asked.

Haley nodded and bit her lip. "This wasn't supposed to happen." Haley kept shaking her head. That was her Nathan, _her Nathan and Lucas. _A gun was pointed at both of them, that was the love of her life and her best friend.

* * *

After hearing code red Brooke jumped to the door, but soon found it was locked. She heard screams coming from down the hallway. Lucas, Nathan, Haley and Sawyer, were all out there in that hallway waiting. Brooke started pounding on the door, "Let me out!" Brooke did the only thing she could think of, she screamed on the top of her lungs. She screamed until she couldn't breathe, and then her tiny fragile body slowly slid to the ground, she couldn't handle all this. Lucas her husband was out in the hallway with their child. Once again Brooke felt guilty, she had sent them away.

* * *

"Fine, you've got us." Nathan said. "Let all these others go." Nathan told him.

"Why? Someone will get famous by explaining the way you die." Dan's voice seemed to echo off the quiet walls. "They will stay."

"Dan, you don't want them." Lucas reminded him.

"You don't know my plan!" Dan told them.

"You had this planned? You planned to hold up a hospital!" Nathan started to raise his voice. "You woke up with this plan?" _God give me the strength not to punch him. _

Dan smiled and nodded. "Yes. Now lets get to the point, where is Ashlyn?"

Lucas and Nathan shared a brief look and then they turned to him. "No." Lucas was ready to go at him, but that look that Nathan sent him told him not to.

"Excuse me?" Dan laughed. "I have a gun pointed at you, and you say no! Let's try this again. Where is Ashlyn?" _At the mall! Where the hell do you think she is? _

This time Nathan stepped up, "My answer will still be no."

"Lets get one thing straight, I came here for answers. If I don't get my answer from you, I will kill you." Dan threatened them.

The whole room fell silent. He would kill his own son; he would pull that trigger without even thinking twice. You could here a pin drop, it was silent. Not one word was said, and all breathing seemed to fall into a pattern, a very fast paced pattern.

Lucas took a deep breathe. "Shoot me."

"Shoot me, Dan. I won't tell you where she is. I love her and that is all there is to it." Lucas confessed running a hand through his hair. "So, I guess: Shoot Me."

"Jesus Christ, Lucas." Nathan cursed. "Shut up."

Dan laughed at his son's boldness. "You know, I will pull this trigger."

"Please do. C'mon _dad, _don't hesitate now." Lucas said shoving Nathan out of harm's way. "Pull the trigger."

"Don't play with me, Lucas." Dan warned shaking the gun in his face. "In case you forgot, I am the one holding this gun!"

"I don't think anyone has forgotten." Lucas spoke calmly.

Nathan stepped next to his brother. "Do you have anything else stupid to say, Lucas? Or am I safe knowing that we will both walk out of here alive?" Nathan muttered to Lucas.

Dan sneered. "If I don't get my answers, you both won't walk out of here alive."

Lucas looked at his younger answer with a sad look on his face. "I guess there is your answer."

Nathan shook his head in disbelief. "I heard him. Don't go and make any death wishes, we'll get through this."

"Will we?" Lucas challenged Dan. All his attention was on him. "Why do you want to see her so bad? Huh?"

"That's between me and _my daughter._" Dan told him. "You know, I have never seen this side you boys. I always thought that you would cave under pressure." _We never caved under yours. _

"Don't call her that. She is not your daughter. Never has, never will." Nathan said strictly staring him down. If glares could kill, Dan would be dead.

Dan looked at Nathan; he slowly moved the gun from Lucas to Nathan. "What did you just say?"

"Um, you heard… me," Nathan voice was shaky. Thoughts were running through his head, they couldn't handle it, no, he couldn't handle it. Sweat was gathering on his forehead as well as his palms, for once in his life, Nathan Scott was scared. All he could think about was: Is Ashlyn okay? Is she awake wondering if he left?

"Is Nathan scared?" Dan tormented him.

"Not for my life." Nathan took a deep breathe and stood his ground. "Right now, I am scared for someone else, and it isn't you!"

"Someone is a tad bit too cocky." Dan told him.

"Well," Lucas smiled. "You taught him well."

"You want to die, don't you?" Dan asked him becoming slightly angry at the brother's sarcasm. "You think this is a game?"

Lucas nodded. "Its not? I mean that's all our lives are to you." Lucas was also starting to loose his cool, if Dan wanted to shoot him, then just do it already, because neither of the brothers were going to budge. Ashlyn would stay in that hospital room on lock down. No visitors. No Dan.

* * *

Brooke was still sniffling against the door, when a very weak voice came from the bed.

"Brooke? Are you crying?" Ashlyn asked softly.

Brooke bolted up and was at Ashlyn's side in a second. Brooke started kissing her forehead, where there were no bruises. "I thought I lost you. God you scared us!"

Ashlyn managed to smile. "Brooke, what happened to me?" _And why do I feel hung-over? _

"You don't remember?" Brooke asked.

She shook her head. "No. Should I?" Ashlyn asked as she started to panic.

Brooke started to get tears in her eyes. "Baby," She whispered. "You were hit by a car. It was a hit and run."

Ashlyn looked away from Brooke. "So that's probably why I can't feel my leg, right?"

Brooke nodded. "Sweetie, there was some nerve damage. Listen, the doctor will tell you everything, as soon as this is over I will get him in here."

"As soon as what is over?" Ashlyn asked still in pain.

"Someone has a gun out there." Brooke told her. "Lucas, Nathan, Haley and Sawyer are all out there."

Ashlyn started to throw off her covers, she tried moving her body, but found out she wasn't strong enough. "Brooke help me." She demanded. "I have to get out there."

"No." Brooke crossed her arms. "The door is locked anyway."

"Don't make me do this by myself, because we both know I am going to fail." Ashlyn tried again, but failed by falling back into her starting position. "Brooke, I can pick the lock, all you have to do is get me to the fricken door."

"Same old, same old." She rolled her eyes at Ashlyn. "No one would even have guess you were in a coma for about a week." Brooke laughed as she grabbed the wheelchair and moved it closer to the bed.

"A week. Huh? Never thought I could go that long without food." Ashlyn tired to laugh, but her chest was tight.

"We shouldn't be moving you." Brooke sighed. "The doctor, will want to see you. Ashlyn, you were just in a coma, oh god, what am I doing? This is wrong. Here, oh good this has wheels." Brooke pushed the cart, that was connected to her arm. "Okay, so what are we going to do? Huh? Your in a wheelchair, what if they shoot at you? Huh? You can't run…"

"Brooke! Shut your mouth!" Ashlyn said plugging her ears. "Give me that." She took the I-V cart and held onto it, as if it was slowly slipping away. "All you have to do is _push _me. That's all, nothing else." Brooke was about to protest, but she cut her off. "If they start shooting at me… just run. Fast and far. Don't worry about me; people been shooting at me for years."

"You honestly think that I would just leave you there?" Brooke asked.

"You better." Ashlyn said in a steady tone. "And you don't look back." Brooke started to wheel Ashlyn towards the door, but came to sudden stop. "Whoa…"

"You don't have to be anyone's hero." Brooke said. "No one asked you to save their lives. So, why do you go around like you have too? You don't. You can live a long and meaningful life, without being anyone's hero. You don't have to die, being that girl. You can die old, and with someone you love." Brooke told her.

"I know." Ashlyn smiled. She craned her head around so she was looking Brooke in the eyes. "Your right, I could die old with someone I love, but it wouldn't be the same as dying for someone I love. I know that you might not understand what I do, but its who I am. I wish I could change-but I won't. This is me, the part that Dan didn't get to see." Ashlyn stopped and sat normal so she wasn't facing Brooke.

"You're so much like them." Brooke said as she started again. Tears were strolling down her cheeks. "Your hearts are too big."

Ashlyn smiled. She knew what Brooke was talking about. She was talking about Lucas. He was out there, and he would take a bullet for anyone who needed saving. He wouldn't think twice. That's how they were. Nathan, Lucas and Ashlyn, were all amazing people with hearts too big, souls too deep, and minds that thought to deep.

* * *

Dan was starting to loose his patience. He was like an anxious kid on Christmas Eve, he wanted his answers and he wanted them now. The gun was still pointed in the boys direction and the fear in their eyes just grew more every time Dan opened his mouth.

Lucas cleared his throat, "It was you." Dan and Nathan shot him a confusing look. "You did it again, didn't you?" Dan's eyes were huge, but they couldn't fool Lucas. "If you really wanted to be with her…"

"I wouldn't finish that sentence if I were you." Dan's face was turning a shade of red, a big balloon that was going to pop.

Still Lucas shook his head. "Why? Just tell me why?" Lucas was still in utter shock, he had put it all together, he had found out something that he wished he would have never even thought up. But he did, and now he stood in front of that man.

"You don't even know the real story…" Dan laughed. His laugh was like nails on a chalk board, or little kids screaming in fear, and that was only Dan Scott's laugh.

"Tell us." Nathan smiled. "Tell me why you want a daughter so bad, huh? But before you do just remember this, you didn't claim her that day, you didn't want her. Do you remember that day?" He asked on the edge.

Dan thought a minute, but before he could respond Nathan cut in. "It was a Thursday, last Thursday in November. She called Lucas at school crying because you didn't come, she wanted to give you a chance. We were against it, but she wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt. You let her down, so we didn't turn her against you. You did that one all on your own."

Dan shook his head. "You can try to make me look like the bad father all you want Nathan, but the truth is, you and Lucas are the only reason she is in the hospital."

Lucas started to smile like a devilish child. "No." He shook his head. "I think you have got the truth mixed in with a lie."

"Oh please do tell!" Dan said in a harsh voice. "Would you like the eleabrate on that last statement?"

Lucas just kept on smiling. "Why? You know what I mean, don't you?" It wasn't a question, it was more of a challenge.

"I know what you mean." Dan barked knowing his was defeated. He quickly regained his smirk and said, "But why don't you tell Nathan."

Lucas sent Dan a cold glare. "Why don't you go to hell!" Lucas shoved his hands in his pockets a fished out his wallet. He pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Nathan. "Remember this."

Nathan nodded. They had found that in Ashlyn's room a day after she had ran away. Lucas kept it in his wallet as a constant reminder that she was fighting.

"Yea, I remember." Nathan said. "What does this mean Luc?" He asked quickly.

Dan snatched the paper away from Nathan's hand and he read it out loud. "Please understand that I love you both, but its time for me to go. I am running away, I might as well just come out and say it, I need to hide for a little while. I have done something that I am not proud of, and it will come back to get me, and you can't be around when it does…" Dan paused.

"Don't stop." Lucas hissed. "The next part really ties it all together."

Dan felt a twinge in his gut, but he kept reading. "I am not in an trouble with the law, so don't worry. I don't want to leave, but if I don't I will die. I fought against the devil, and he now wants revenge. I will always love you." Dan waved the paper and started mocking the boys. "This is so sad!"

"It all makes sense, down to one point…" Lucas said with a shaky voice. "What did she do, that made you want to kill your own daughter."

Dan shook his head. "That's between me and her."

Nathan was keeping quiet, but he couldn't take it. "Not anymore." Nate shook his head. "Not after this."

Silence swept over the room and Dan still was pointing the gun in the boys direction he wasn't backing down.

* * *

"Damn it!" Ashlyn cursed. "I used to be a pro at picking locks. I lost my touch, I never thought I'd happen."

Brooke snickered behind her. "You truly are amazing, you know that?"

Ashlyn smiled. "You might have said that once or twice before, just maybe, can't really remember." Ashlyn moved the pin the left and then she quickly wiggled the pin. There was a quiet click that sent Ashlyn's arms in the air. "I got it!" She shouted.

"Did you really?" Brooke asked checking the door knob. Sure enough it was open. "Be quiet, don't say a word." Brooke whispered to her. "The waiting room is down the hall."

Ashlyn just nodded. "Just get me to my brothers."

* * *

"Okay! This is it!" Dan yelled. "You better tell me where she is? Or so help me god, I will shoot you."

"What's her favorite color?" Nathan asked. "Or what's her favorite food?" _Green. Oatmeal Chocolate Chip. I can still remember after two years. _

Dan hesitated. "Um…"

"You don't know." Nathan said bluntly. "I know her so well, I should be the one with the gun pointed at you. You know nothing about that girl, yet here you stand."

"Yea. So what?" Dan challenged.

"Green." Lucas said softly. "Her favorite color is green. Not puke green, but plain green, like the leaves." Lucas slowly became louder. "It's not black like mine or Nathan's, its green." He turned to Nathan. "I want you to love her like I would, okay?"

"Lucas?" Nathan asked. "Please don't do this…"

"I have to." He shoved Nathan out of harm's way. He shut his eyes and took a deep breathe. "Before you shoot me, let me tell you something." Lucas looked him directly in the eyes. "She never said one thing about you, not once. When she got mad because I acted like you, she never compared me to you." Tears were starting to form at the brim of his eyes.

"She used to smile when Brooke would make cookies. The ones that had oatmeal and chocolate chips in them." Lucas smiled through the tears. "That's her favorite food." He was doing this for her " She hated it when people would compare her to you. She would threaten the beat the shit out of them. She hated it!" Lucas shook his head.

_When I see your smile  
Tears run down my face I can't replace  
And now that I'm strong I have figured out  
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul  
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one  
_

"She is my baby sister, and Nathan is my baby brother, so this is my duty. You can't have them, Dan. You can't think that we owe you anything, because you owe us more than your money could ever buy. You owe Ash, so much love you would die. You owe Nathan the blessing so he and Haley can finally get married."

_  
I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven  
_

"You want the truth? I am scared; I really don't know what I am doing. But it just seems right, you know? So I am going to do this." Lucas' voice cracks. "I really wanted to be here when she graduates, and when she takes her team to the state championship and wins. I really want to be there. I want to walk her down the isle, with tears streaming down my cheeks, I want to be there. I want to be someone that you were never. I thought that all I had to do was make sure I lived a long and good life. But this will do." Lucas took deep breathes.

_  
It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.  
Seasons are changing  
And waves are crashing  
And stars are falling all for us  
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter  
I can show you I'll be the one  
_

"I am going to be the better guy, because Ashlyn deserves this. She wants someone who will look at her and know that she is broken, she wants someone who will dry her tears, she deserves so much more than this crappy family that she has been given, she wants so much more, but I can't give her anything else." Lucas started to regain his strength. "I want her to know that I love her, so much, I love her with all my heart. It killed me that day she ran away, I thought it was something I did wrong. I sat in her room a cried for three whole days, I held onto her teddy bear that I gave her for her birthday. It smelt just like her, so I didn't let go. They had to pry me away from that bear, but I didn't want to forget that smell, because what if I never found that smell again? I would be like I had forgotten my sister, and I couldn't do that. She was my sister, she is my sister, and I never want to forget that smile, I never want to forget that smile… it wasn't a smirk, it was a beautiful smile." Lucas said. "But what I am afraid of is her falling, and I won't be there to catch her…"

_  
I will never let you fall (let you fall)  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven  
_

"I can't let her get hurt. I promised myself along time ago, that I would love and protect that girl with my life. I never thought I would take my life… but if this is the only way to keep my baby safe, then so be it."

_  
Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart  
Please don't throw that away  
Cuz I'm here for you  
Please don't walk away and  
Please tell me you'll stay, stay  
_

Lucas looked at Nathan with pleading eyes. "And you, take care of our girl."

Nathan nodded. "Hey, hey Lucas, listen um…" Nathan hesitated. _I love you. _

"I love you too Nate."

_  
Use me as you will  
Pull my strings just for a thrill  
And I know I'll be okay  
Though my skies are turning gray  
_

"Take care of Brooke and Sawyer." Lucas instructed. He turned back to Dan, his face stained with tears. He once again shut his eyes and saw Ashlyn smiling. _Its okay. _"You are not getting in that room."

Dan put on that evil smirk. "Have it your way."

_  
I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving_ you sends me to heaven


	7. Ocean Size Love

**AN: Thanks for all the replies. Ahhh Thanksgiving Break produced two wonderful chapters. This is just the first chapter, so how about seven reviews and I'll post that chapter. Oh and just to let you know Brooke and Lucas were married the same year that Ashlyn ran away. Okay, so like I said 7 reviews and you get the chapter……. **

----------

Brooke wheeled down the hallway as fast as she could. The wheelchair came to a screeching stop when they heard Lucas' voice.

"Take care of Brooke and Sawyer." Lucas' shaky voice stung both girls' hearts.

"What the hell is he doing?" Brooke asked starting to tear up.

Ashlyn started to get nervous. "He is making a big mistake. Go Brooke! Wheel me in there," Ashlyn ordered freaking out. "Hurry!"

When they came face to face with the actions, Ashlyn's tears were falling. Chairs, desks and tables were knocked over, people were behind them crying. In front of the room stood Nathan, Lucas and a very upset Dan pointing a gun at Lucas.

"Have it your way." Dan leaned back and loaded the gun, he lowered the gun so it was aim for Lucas' mid- torso. He took a deep breathe…

"Pease… don't." Ashlyn cried out. "Don't shoot him." She begged crying. She shook her head nervously, "You don't want him, you want me." Her brothers head snapped in her direction, once again she had saved a life.

Nathan rushed to her side, not caring that Dan was following close behind aiming the gun at Ashlyn. Nathan wrapped his arms around her and squeezed as hard as he could. "What are you doing?" He asked in her ear.

"You've saved me everyday of my life," She said holding on tightly. "Its my turn."

Nathan kissed her forehead. "Don't say a word to him, got it?" He sent her a glare and Ashlyn just nodded and took his hand as he faced Dan.

"You decided to join us? How sweet! Now the party can really begin!" Dan said like a toy doll that is ran off batteries.

In her blue hospital gown she rubbed her eyes. She smiled up at Dan, it was a teasing smile, one that she gave her brothers when they were fighting.

"Yea. Something like that. So I was hit by a car!? Imagine that. So Dan, know anything about that?" Ashlyn asked in a chipper tone.

Dan chuckled.

"Oh I figured you would know something!" She said back to him. "I guess I am wondering how much you paid him, that's all."

"Shut your mouth." Dan snapped.

"I'll shut my mouth, the same day you burn in hell." Ashlyn fired back.

"I'd watch it if I were you." He warned.

"I guess I'll have too, I really don't want to get hit by a car again." Ashlyn joked and started to push Dan's buttons. She knew this game, and she was damn good at it.

Dan shook the gun and teased her back. "I could blow you brains out."

"You could, but you won't." Ashlyn stated. "If you were going to shoot someone, you would have already done it." She smiled as she finished. "Sucks don't it Dan? I was right, you don't have…"

Dan stared at Nathan, "If you love her, you'd shut her up."

Nathan turned to her. "Shut up." He sent her a pleading look. "Just please, don't say another word."

Ashlyn grinned at him. Her smile was bright and he then knew, she was asking for his forgiveness. He didn't' smile back, but he nodded. Both Nathan and Lucas couldn't let this happen, but their sister was now in the game meaning, anything goes.

Lucas stepped into the playing field, with a smug grin on his face. He wiped the sweat away from his forehead and ran a hand through his blonde hair. Sighing he looked to his sister in her wheelchair. Her face was drained of color, but her eyes have a little spark, a little fight in them. Her hair was sticking to her face, matted down like wet dog in the summer. Her stitches were dark compared to her white face. Black and blue surrounded every cut and every slash on her body. She sat in the wheel chair holding onto her I-V cart for dear life, waiting for the perfect time to finally put Dan Scott in his place.

Finally Lucas walked over to Ashlyn. "How are you feeling? You really had us worried." Lucas placed a sweet kiss on her forehead, he did his best to be gentle not wanting to touch her bruised and damaged skin.

Ashlyn shut her eyes. "I'd be a hell of a lot better if you didn't just say you'd die for me. Other than that, I am good."

When she opened her eyes, Lucas was holding her hand, he gave her a light smile. "You should have stayed in your room."

"So you could die?" Ashlyn scuffed.

Dan cleared his throat getting everyone's attention. "As cute as that was, I need to talk to Ashlyn. Alone."

Nathan laughed. "You've got balls, I'll give you that one." Nathan stood his ground with his arms over his chest. "Do you honestly think that I would let you be alone with her?"

"If you knew what was good for you, you would." Dan retorted.

"That's funny." Lucas said. When Dan didn't move nor say word, Lucas spoke again. "If you two need to talk, then fine, but do it here."

"You don't get it? Me and her, we have unfinished business." Dan said trying to make the boys understand.

"If you wouldn't have pointed a gun at my face, maybe I would have considered letting her talk to you." Lucas said calmly. "You pointed a gun at me, and you would point a gun at her." Lucas looked at Nathan and began again. "I know that you have lived your whole life without her, but I don't think I would be able to live my life without her."

In one swift move Dan grabbed Lucas by the collar of his shirt, he tugged him against his body and held the gun to his head.

Ashlyn screamed in fear, Brooke started crying, and Nathan started to panic. Ashlyn tried to stand up, but fell immediately. Nathan helped her in her chair. "You okay?" He questioned.

"Make… him… put down… the… gun." Ashlyn cried to Nathan.

Lucas struggled in Dan's grasp. "Not Mr. Tough Guy now, are we?"

"I never… was," Lucas chocked out.

Brooke crawled to safety under a table next to Haley. She couldn't watch and she was breaking down.

"Dan lets just talk about this," Nathan reasoned calmly.

"Now you want to talk!?" Dan boomed. "I think it's a little to late for that one, don't you?"

Ashlyn shook her head. "No! No it's not too late! I'll talk to you. Just let him go." Ashlyn said folding into the pressure.

Dan tightened his grip on Lucas. "You wish I was that forgiving. Follow me!" He ordered. When Ashlyn didn't move he turned around. "I said, Follow me!"

Ashlyn shot him a glare. "I know what you said! In case you forgot, I have a broken arm, and I have to take this I-V with me, oh and don't' forget the leg." Ashlyn rolled her eyes. "So, I need some help." Dan started walking towards the chair. "I don't want help from you!"

Dan shoved Lucas towards her. "Push her!" He said. "No sudden moves, or Nathan will be an only child."

They walked down the hall and into the hospital's break room. Dan slammed the door shut. "You. Over there." Dan shoved Lucas towards the couch. "Don't you move." He turned to Ashlyn with fire in his eyes. "We are going to get this figured out."

"How?" Ashlyn asked.

"Young lady," Dan's said. "I have had it with your games; just tell me where my stuff is!" His angry voice was filled with anger.

Ashlyn laughed, "You want your stuff!? That's too bad, because I am not getting you anything."

Lucas sat straight up. "Ashlyn, just give Dan what he needs." It wasn't an order, it was more of a needy cry for help.

"No." She shook her head. "You don't know anything, Luc. I wish you did, but it would kill you. I can't give in, because, this involves everyone, you, Nate, Haley, Brooke, even my mom." She looked at the floor as she spoke. "I am sorry, but I need you to leave."

"No."

"Please, just do it."

Dan sat back and watched the fight go on.

"I am not leaving." Lucas said firmly.

"Yea, yea you are." Ashlyn took a deep breathe. She ripped the IV tube out of her arm, she cringed at the pain it caused. She pushed the cart aside. With all the strength she had, she pushed herself up using her arms. Her legs were shaking from the pain and she couldn't get her balance.

Lucas was at her side, giving her the balance that she needed. Ashlyn held onto his forearm as she tried to get her balance. Lucas smiled down at his sister, she was standing, even though there were hot tears streaming down her rosy cheeks, this is what she wanted. It was her way out, her only way out.

Lucas nodded. "I can't leave you." She was about to protest, when he guided her back into her chair. "Easy." He gripped her arms and lifted her into the same position she was in before she got out of the chair. "Okay?"

She nodded. "Yea." She shifted her body until she was right where she wanted to be.

He smiled in satisfaction. He bent down a kissed her on the forehead. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Luc?" Ashlyn was confused with his actions. She trembled underneath his touch. His warm palms were burning holes through her cheeks. The tears were streaming down. For once Ashlyn wasn't at all sure that she was making the right choice. She covered his hands as their foreheads met. "Luc?" she whispered again.

"Nate is going to kill me." He placed his hand on her shoulder and gave it a shake. "For once in your life, please, please just remember how much this hurts us, okay?" He took her hand and covered his heart. "Nothing stupid. I am going to be outside that door, I am not leaving you."

She smiled and shut her eyes. She pictured herself at her last basketball game in the park, before she moved. Her smile just grew more and more. When she opened her eyes she looked at Lucas, "I'll be fine."

"I know." With that he let go of her shoulder and walked towards the door, he paused and turned around. "I swear to god, if anything happens to her…I'll kill you." It was a fierce fiery comment that left Dan shocked and Ashlyn smiling.

As soon as the door was shut, Dan walked over to her. "Where is it?" She stayed quiet as his voice got louder. "I know you have it! Just tell me where it is!"

Flashback:

"_Hurry!" Lucas shouted at his younger sister and his younger brother. "We have to go now!" Lucas motioned for them to hurry up, he opened the car door and started the engine._

_Nathan rushed out the door with papers in his hand, he clenched them tighter not wanting them to fly away. He jumped in the car on the passenger side as they watched there younger sister finish the job._

_Ashlyn was sorting papers as fast as she could. Her rough thumb was flipping faster and faster every paper. "Damn." She cursed. Finally she found it, she smiled like a devilish child. She set the paper on top on the filing cabinet and kept going. She stumbled along a legal document, she started reading it, and she covered her mouth in utter shock. Dan was trying to pursue legal custody of her. He was going to fight her brothers in court. She crumpled it up and shoved it into her pocket._

_Instead of wasting more time, Ashlyn took the whole file, she held it tight against her chest as she sprinted to the car. She pulled the hood over her head as she passed the door. She hopped into the car and they drove away._

"_Did you get it?" Nathan asked._

"_Yeah," She handed Nathan the paper that they had originally came for._

_He carefully inspected it. Reading it word for word, it was his and Haley's divorce papers. He smiled in satisfaction. "Thanks."_

_Before anyone said a word, Nathan started shredding the paper. He ripped the paper into long shreds, then slowly the pieces got smaller and smaller._

_Lucas looked at him as if he had grown three heads. "You just made me sneak into my father's business, just so you could get your divorce papers, and then you rip them to pieces!" Lucas was trying not to loose his cool. "Are you nuts?"_

_Ashlyn stuck her head between the two seats, "Actually I got something too."_

"_What!" Both exclaimed. Lucas swerved and they stopped at the side of the road. Both boys turned around and looked at her._

"_Please tell me you didn't," Nathan said with compassion. He started to laugh, "Who am I kidding? Of course you took something!"_

"_Let's try to stay calm." Lucas said. He turned his attention to Ashlyn. "What did you take?"_

_Ashlyn sighed. "Promise you won't freak out?" When Lucas nodded she waited for Nathan. "Nate?"_

"_Fine."_

_From out behind her she took a folder, she proudly showed it to them._

_Nathan's jaw dropped. "Alright, that's it! Lucas turn this car around, we are putting it back. C'mon lets go."_

"_No!" Ashlyn demanded. "No. We will not go back. I am keeping these. Its my mom's stuff, okay? I am keeping this." She explained putting her foot down. "You got to keep your papers, I am keeping mine."_

"_Honey…" Lucas started._

"_NO! Don't honey me!" She started yelling. The tears were on the verge of falling. This was her last hope, her face was bright red and she wad mad._

"_Fine! Lets take them back… is that what you want, huh? If I take these papers back, you loose me!" She confessed. "Do you want me to go and live with that devil, huh? Fine. Then let's take the papers back, no big deal, it's only me!"_

_Lucas started the engine and pulled out onto the main road. He didn't make any motion to turn the car around, he drove straight home. His eyes were fixed on the road, he would sometimes be caught checking on Ashlyn in the backseat, but other than that, there was nothing said, nor, done._

_Lucas got out of the car, as so did Nathan and Ashlyn. They all slammed their doors shut, at the same time._

_Once they were in the house Lucas sighed. "Can I see the paper?" They all stopped moving._

_Sure enough Ashlyn dug into the folder and pulled out a sheet, she handed it to Lucas. "I'll be in my room." With those being her last words she turned on her heels and walked up the stairs._

_A loud pounding noise was heard from the kitchen the next morning. Lucas groggily walked to his front door and unlocked it. The door swung open and there stood a very angry Dan._

"_Is little miss Ashlyn here?" He asked._

_Lucas shook his head. "She said she had something to do. She won't be back for a while."_

"_I'll wait." Dan said trying to step in._

"_No, you'll leave." Lucas retorted standing in his way. "You'll leave now."_

"_You know, don't you?" Dan asked. "You probably were there next to her, weren't you? God Damn you Lucas! You're going to kill that girl."_

"_What are you talking about?" Lucas asked worried that he knew._

"_Don't play stupid boy! Her HCM, you let her go without her pills."_

_Lucas felt a rush of relief Dan had no idea. "Yeah," He ran a hand through his hair. "It's for a test. God, Dan just go home."_

"_Just tell me where I can find her," Dan ordered. "Then I'll leave you alone."_

"_How about this: you go back to your office and we'll stop by later?" Lucas said yawing._

_Dan snickered. "Because we both know you won't."_

_Lucas smiled at him, "Yeah," He said. "I won't." With that he slammed the door, he slammed in his face. Dan stood on the other side, his mouth open in shock, and in one hand he held out the watch, he had three hours._

_She stayed quiet, she had worn her flip flops, and they were making to much noise, so she slowly leaned against the door and pulled them off. Then she continued down the hallway to his office. She stood outside his door, she knocked softly, then without any answer she just walked in._

_His office was an olive green, with a big oak desk in the middle. With book shelves around the room covering the walls, barely any books though, lots and lot of trophies and pictures. In the middle of the three rows was a big picture framed and placed on the wall. The picture was taken when Lucas and Nathan took Ashlyn down to Florida. They were all in their bathing suits, Nathan on one side of Ashlyn and Lucas on the other. Dan wasn't there, so how does he have that?_

"_Dan," She said in a soft tone. "I need to talk to you. It can't wait."_

_Slowly the black chiar turned around and there with both hands on his lap sat a smiling Dan Scott. "Good," He said. "I have to talk to you too. Please shut the door, and take a seat." He commanded as he smiled at the young girl._

_She shut the big door very slowly, thinking if she wanted to run, she'd better do it now, because once that door is shut… there's no going back. She then turned around with her flip flops in her hand, and she sat down in the big blue chair in front of the desk._

"_So," He spoke calmly. "You can go first."_

_She smiled sweetly, and then reached down into her bag, she pulled out a packet of information and smiled as she dropped it onto the desk. "Remember this?" She asked._

"_How? How did you get that?" He asked choking on his words._

"_You'd like to know, wouldn't you." She said. She opened the folder and she took out the first piece of paper, "Lets see, oh yes here it is." She pointed to the last line and showed Dan, "Does that say your name? Because I, I just couldn't think that you thought it would happen."_

_Dan nodded proudly. "Yes, that's my name. This is what I call a work in progress."_

"_No, not anymore. This was your copy, and now it is mine." Ashlyn gloated. "See and you can go pull I am the mayor to the cops, but by then I'll be long gone. You thought you could get payback – that's to damn bad, because this was my mom's money. You only want me to be a part of your life for the money that I come with." Ashlyn chuckled. "But see that's where I outsmarted you, that was for me, not you. My mother had it set aside because I think deep down she knew she was going to die. So, this is my life, and you think that by legally making you my father that you get that, well screw you. But like I said, try all you want, but I'll be long gone." _

_With that, she picked up her shoes, the folder of the desk and she snatched her bag and opened the door and in moments she was out of the Town Hall, in minutes she was out of town, once and for all._

_Once on the train, she called Lucas and she knew he'd be out looking for her, so she prayed she get the answering machine, and she did. "Hey its Lucas, leave me a message."_

"_Big Brother, its me, Ashlyn, I am gone, long gone, but everything you need is one the dresser in the spare bedroom. The key will open the safe, which holds the papers we took, and the gold key will open the time capsule… but I can't tell you where that is. I love you, just remember that okay, wherever you go and whatever you do, please, please just remember me, okay?" She was starting to cry and she said her final goodbye. "You tell Nathan that I love him. You don't have to understand why I have to start over, you don't even have to forgive me, but you sure as hell better not forget to love me. I will always love both of you. Be safe, and Good Luck. Bye."_

_End Of Flashback._

Dan looked at her is disbelief, "Where is my money?"

Ashlyn looked to the floor, "I can't tell you that. That money was set-aside for me to go to college wherever I want, the rest for my house and my family. None of it was for you."

"You don't get it, do you?" He chuckled. "That money was mine the whole time. I wrote the checks to her, because if I wrote them to you, it'd look, complicated. So I wrote them to your mother and she put them in a savings account for you." Dan told her. "All that money, everything that she left you, it was a lie, it was mine the whole time, and now I just want it back," He said. "Your mother was a slut, she had nothing, the only thing she ever owned, I gave it to her."

Ashlyn covered her mouth, to hide the sobs that were escaping her mouth. It all made sense, why her mom never talked about it, why she never said his name, why she tired to have so much control when she way dying. Her mom let Dan Scott walk all over her, and that is where Ashlyn and her mom were different, Ashlyn would not let that happen, not from him, she was strong.

Dan stroked her cheek, but she shoved it away in anger. "Don't touch me," She growled out through clenched teeth.

"Lighten up," He laughed. "Did you really think mommy had all that cash laying around?" Dan teased.

"I don't know what I think anymore."


	8. A Box Beneath my Bed

**AN: I am so very sorry about the long wait, I have been having problems with my labtop. Which really sucks!!!! This chapter isn't as long or as nice as i wanted it to be, but oh well. However this is a much needed chapter because it sets us up for the next, which by the way, is going to break your heart. So please review, and if you have questions ask them, becasue my goal is to make a personal thank you and answer any questions. So without any wait...**

* * *

Outside in the waiting room, Nathan held Haley close to him as they waited for Lucas and Ashlyn to come back. Brooke was holding Sawyer and trying to soothe the baby without crying herself.

Suddenly the phone started to ring. Everyone jumped, hope had just been created. Haley pushed Nathan towards the phone.

"Answer it."

He gently picked up the receiver and held it to his ear. "Hello."

"Hello, this is Captain Jerry Ross, I am with the Police Department, who am I speaking to?" The man on the other end questioned.

Nathan started to stutter, "Um, this, this is, Nathan Scott. My, Dan Scott, he has the gun, and is holding people up."

"Nathan," Jerry said. "Scott. I've heard that name, you play basketball don't ya son?"

"Yeah, I do. I am here with my sister; she is a patient, one that Dan has taken…"

"Taken where?"

"I don't know sir," Nathan said. "He has my brother, Lucas, also."

"Okay. Is anyone hurt?"

"No."

"Okay," Jerry said. "This is what I want you to do, I want you to get everyone to the main floor, and I want you to wait there until one of my men comes in, can you do that?" Jerry asked.

"What about my Ashlyn?" Nathan asked starting to panic.

"You just make sure everyone gets down to the first floor alive, okay? I'll get your sister out, okay Nathan?"

"Okay, I trust you."

"So does everyone else."

_I felt for sure last night  
At once we said goodbye  
No one else will know these lonely dreams  
No one else will know that part of me  
I'm still driving away  
And I'm sorry every day  
I wont always love these selfish things  
I wont always live...  
Stop it... _

It was my turn to decide  
I knew this was our time  
No one else will have me like you do  
No one else will have me, only you

You'll sit alone forever  
If you wait for the right time  
What are you hoping for?  
I'm here and now I'm ready  
Holding on tight  
Don't give away the end  
The one thing that stays mine

Amazing still it seems  
Ill be 23  
I wont always love what Ill never have  
I wont always live in my regrets

You'll sit alone forever  
If you wait for the right time  
What are you hoping for?  
I'm here and now I'm ready  
Holding on tight  
Don't give away the end  
The one thing that stays mine

You'll sit alone forever  
If you wait for the right time  
What are you hoping for?  
I'm here and now I'm ready  
Holding on tight  
Don't give away the end  
The one thing that stays mine... 

Nathan looked around the room. There were nurses, doctors, adults, kids, and then there was his family.

"Okay," He said loud. "That was the police, they're outside. We're going downstairs." He grabbed Haley and Brooke and started leading the way, he looked back and he saw everyone following them. "Haley," He said. "You keep going, I am going to help the doctor move people, okay?"

Haley nodded. "Alright. Be careful. I love you."

Nathan nodded and kissed her gently on the lips. "I love you too." He turned and watched her slowly fade into the distance. He knew she'd be okay, well, she had to be. Turning his attention, he had to help the doctor. "Okay, just tell me what to do."

The man with gray hair looked up at him. "How old are you son?" He asked scrunching his nose and looking through the tip of his glasses.

Nathan looked down, "Er, um… 24, sir."

"I have son that age, he is a great man." The old man smiled up and Nathan. "He kind of looks like you…" His voice was starting to get breathy.

Nathan started to panic, he looked around but no one was there. As soon as he said police and help everyone seemed to rush to the exit following Haley and Brooke. What we he going to do? God in High School he failed Science, _twice. _

He shook his shoulders. "Sir! Wake up!" Nathan said harshly. "Jesus Christ don't die! Wake up!"

Suddenly he started coughing, Nathan sighed in relief. "C'mon." He put his arm around him and Nathan was now trying his hardest to help the man walk. Slowly they made it to the door and had to stop, he was panting, he knew that moving a man was such hard work, no wonder Haley left him when he fell asleep on the couch.

"Son," The old man spoke again. "What's going on?"

Nathan struggled to talk as more weight was being put on his shoulder. "Um, someone has a gun. Like a hostage situation," He told him.

"Are we in trouble?" He asked.

Nathan shook his head. "No, we're not." So maybe he was lying, Nathan helping this man was not only put him in danger but the old man as well, because lets face it, Nathan was not Dan's favorite person right now.

They stopped to take a breath at the bottom of the stairway; Nathan was leaning over panting, the man holding himself up against the railing.

"My wife was going to come and see me today," He told him. "She's probably out there worried. She's going to kill me; she hates it when I scare her." He rubbed the bald spot on his head and looked at Nathan. "What are you doing at the hospital? You don't look sick."

Nathan sighed and ran a hand over his face. "I'm not," He said dryly. "It's my sister. She was in a coma. She woke up today, it's a miracle, I honestly thought she was gone."

He really did think that she was gone, he was thinking about that last night. What would he have done if she died? He never gave hope over the years that she was gone, because somewhere deep down he had this gut feeling that she was alive and doing fine. It still made him wonder if he would have ever been the same, would Haley still have stayed with a man who couldn't make it out of bed anymore? Most of all Nathan watched Lucas as he paced back and forth trying to figure out what he would have done. Sure, out of the two of them Lucas had the brains, but what would have he done?

"I never got your name?" He asked. "I am Jack."

"Oh, right, I guess I am Nathan." Nathan scrunches his eyebrows together and sighs deeply.

"Nathan. Hmm, I like that name." The old man sat back and looked at Nathan for a moment. "So, your sister was in a coma? That's nice of you to come and visit her."

He had no choice, family doesn't let family quit. Not now, not ever.

Nathan laughed. "Me and my brother, Luc, we are all she has." He shook his head as he continued. "I really let her down this time. I thought I knew what I was doing…"

"You'll see her again, I promise. And when you do, I want you to wrap your arms around her and hold her tight, never let go, okay?" Nathan looked over at him confused. "My daughter, Emily, I haven't seen her in two years, she is pregnant with twins, and the last thing I said to her was, 'I am so disappointed.'" He laughed, "But I am not, I am actually really proud of her, she is going to be a mom in a week or two, and if I die today she is going to think that I am disappointed with her. So please, when you see your sister, tell her you love her… because it's the only thing that she wants."

Nathan shut his eyes, "I lied." He shoved his hands into his pockets and looked away from Jack. He faced the wall. "My sister is the hostage. My father is the gunman."

Jack stood up and pulled out a hanker-chief from his back pocket, he wiped the sweat from his forehead. "Well, what the hell are you doing helping me to safety?"

"I don't know what to do anymore." He turned to face him. "Just let me help you." He took a step in Jack's direction, but Jack took one step forward. "She would want me to help you."

Jack shook his head. "I saw you fighting with that man with the gun, I dazed out, but still, you've got balls. My question is why come back for me?" Jack asked. "I could die in this stairway, and I'd be okay with that, so go save your sister."

Nathan shook his head. "I can't leave you here."

"You can't let your sister die!" Jack shouted back at him.

"She won't. He won't shoot her…"

"He brought a gun into a hospital; I think the possibilities are endless."

"God, just let me help you down to the main floor," Nathan whined trying to help him. "Just let me help you."

"Do you love your sister?" Jack asked challenging him.

Nathan glared at him. "Yes. Now I swear to god, I will pick you up and carry you bridal style if I have to."

"Then why don't you go save her?" Jack ignored all his protest and looked Nathan Scott directly in the eyes. He was scared out of his mind.

He finally put his arm under Jack's shoulder and lifted his body. "Thank you," Nathan said softly as they made their way down the steps. One single step at a time, Nathan didn't say anything, he didn't whine, or complain, he just went extremely slow.

Sensing how tense Nathan was Jack looked down at him. His face was tight, not letting any emotion show, sweat was gathering on his forehead from all the hard work, but he wasn't going to give up. Jack was lost, why save a man that is destined to die anyway, when he could be saving his _younger _sister. "Nathan?" Jack asked. He was about to ask why, but Nathan beat him to it.

Nathan kept his eyes on the next few steps. "I can't. If I go up there, I will loose it, I know I will." He wiped the enormous sweat beads that were gathering away. "Just let me get you to safety." Nathan was frustrated, and he was too much of a man to admit how scared he was.

Jack shook his head. "Don't do this, Nathan. This isn't what you really want," Jack tried his best to show Nathan.

"No," Nathan growled. "I really want to get you outside, so you can get help." Nathan's anger was raging. "I really want my sister to finally come home, where I can watch her sleep. I really want my brother to get rid of his HCM so he can play with his heart, again. I really want Brooke to stop worrying about Sawyer developing HCM. And I really want to finally renew my wedding vows with the love of my life." Nathan took a deep breathe.

Jack nodded, this man was everything he wished he was, and too bad Nathan didn't see it. "I don't fit into that, not at all."

"Oh yeah," Nathan rolled his eyes. "I believe the first thing I said was getting you outside."

Jack patted Nathan on the back as they continued walking. "You're a good man. You really are a good man. Thank you."

The gun nozzle was pointed in her direction, she was breathing heavily, and her palms were sweaty. She sniffled, but she refused to cry, it just wasn't worth it. If she cried, someone would die. She looked towards him, his face was tense with a scowl appearing on his mouth.

* * *

"The River Court," the words came from her mouth like molasses on a hot day. She hung her head and played with her hands. "Behind the far hoop, like ten yards out, we buried it."

"In a box?" Dan snapped.

"No," Ashlyn mumbled. "Well, yeah, I guess."

Dan roared at her. "Well is it in a box or not!"

"I said, yeah." Ashlyn said trying to keep herself calm. "It's in a box. Don't worry," She hissed, "your money is safe."

Dan cracked a smile at her. She was going to break any moment and Dan was going to be the one who broke her. "Its killing you," Dan said. "Just knowing, all that money, it was mine…"

"Shut up."

"You thought she could take care of you," Dan said playing with her. "You're mother was a no good…"

"Shut up."

"Face it, I was the best thing that ever happened to you and your mom…" Dan laughed in amusement as Ashlyn's face turned to him.

"Go to Hell," She hissed angrily.

Dan's scowl turned into a smile, "You'd like that, wouldn't you? Want me to tell mommy hi while I am there?"

Her face was as red as a fire. Her eyes were full of tears and she was fighting so hard not to cry. "You no good, stupid son of a…"

"Ah, I'd watch it," Dan teased shaking the gun. "Now that I know where my money is, I won't hesitate to kill you."

"It was never about the money," Ashlyn said after a moment of silence. "It wasn't, was it?"

Dan looked at his one and only daughter, and smiled, she was smart, but sometimes she was to good at this game, after all, it was _his _game.

"You'd like to think that."

"I am. I do." She said with a cocky grin. Just like that all the fear and all the tears were gone, and she was ready to fight that battle, that was until she heard all the noises coming from outside the room.

"What the Hell?" Dan stormed to the door and swung it open. He walked around the corner receiving a weird look from Lucas. Then he saw it, all the bodies running full speed toward what looked like an open stairwell, they had just came from the elevator. "Hey!" He called. When they kept running, Dan yelled again, "Don't make me shoot!" He sighed in frustration and took out his cell phone and dialed a number. "Hi. They are on the way down there… Yes. No one leaves until I say."

Lucas lifted his head and looked at Dan. "There are more people?" He asked.

Dan smiled, "Of Course. I am not going to hold up a Hospital by myself, I am not that stupid."

"Could have fooled me," Lucas muttered softly. He stood blocking the door, so Dan would either have to make him move or answer is one question. "Why are you doing this?"

Dan looked at Lucas amazed. "Ashlyn should be with me, not you, not her mom, me!"

Lucas nodded. "But she doesn't want to be with you, if you loved her, you would understand that she can't be with you."

"No." Dan shook his head. "There are secrets that she isn't sharing about her mother, and that's why we are here, because I need answers." Then Dan held up the gun and waved it around. "And without this, I wouldn't have gotten anywhere."

Lucas looked at Dan worried. "I don't get you."

* * *

"So…" Haley said as they were running. "You didn't say anything to Lucas did you?"

Brooke was trying her hardest not to scream, this was really frustrating, and Haley was only trying to help her. "About Ashlyn or about you being pregnant?"

Haley came to a dead halt. "Please tell me you didn't tell anyone _that._"

Brooke grabbed her arm and started her running again. "Don't worry, only me and Sawyer know about your bun in the oven." Brooke rubbed Sawyer's head as he lay against her chest as they were running through the hospital halls.

"Brooke," Haley warned. "You can't tell anyone, I haven't even told Nathan yet, okay?" Haley was being as calm as she could. "You can't tell anyone, promise?"

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Who would I tell? Okay, you do remember that we are running through the halls of a vacant hospital trying our hardest not to get shot. I won't tell a soul. You kept my secret about Sawyer, so I'll return the favor."

Haley sighed and started to smile. "Do you think Nathan will be happy?" Her smile started to grow like a love sick teenager.

"Haley!" Brooke scolded. "We are hostages, remind yourself that, okay. Get it together." Brooke once again grabbed her arm and pulled her forward just so they would be close and they wouldn't get separated, because the crowd seemed to be slowing down. "Plus, that kid is going to be smoking hott!" Brooke whispered grinning.

Haley just laughed. Maybe being held hostage wasn't that bad when you have your best friend in the world standing right next to you. Just like that the feeling, it was gone. What about Nathan, or Lucas? What about Ashlyn? God being held hostage sucked.

* * *

Nathan shoved the door with everything that he had. It was stuck. "Damn." He cursed and gave it one last push.

"Nathan," Jack spoke, "we're stuck." He sighed and leaned back. "Just give it up."

* * *

**Now fire away with some questions... **


	9. I'll Wait, I'll Wait

_**Sorry a million times over for the long wait. I finally got everything fixed with my computer, my parents got me a new one, so I was to busy transferring my folders to realize that its been almost a month since I had updated. I hope this chapter I as good as I imagined it to be, because it really has taken over my life lately, along with my other story Half Life, which you all should check out. Okay enough with my rambling. Just R&R!!!**_

_And I'd give up forever to touch you _

_´Cause I know that you feel me somehow _

_You're the closets to heaven that I'll ever be _

_And I don't wanna go home right now _

_And all I cant taste in this moment _

_And all I can breath is your life _

_And sooner or later it's over _

_I just don't wanna miss you tonight _

_And I don't want the world to see me _

_´Cause I don´t think that they'd understand _

_When everything's made to be broken _

_I just want you to know who I am _

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming _

_Or the moments of truth in your lies _

_When everything feels like the movies _

_And you bleed just to know you're alive. _

_And I don´t want the world to see me _

_´Cause I don´t think that they'd understand _

_When everything's made to be broken _

_I just want you to know who I am _

**Ashlyn's Point Of View**

You know you'd think that I'd give it all up; I'd do it over again, just so I wouldn't be here in this room today. But I wouldn't. Not because I am selfish, but because I am not selfish. See in this world there is cynicism, realism, but everyday I chose optimism. My brothers taught me that, never give up, go until you've got nothing, and always, always have faith. Lucas was a fine example on never giving up, and I admire his strength, when everything was taken away, he still had something, or maybe he always had someone. Nathan, man, he was just the good guy, the one who didn't care, but one day he threw the old him away, he stepped up into the brand new world gave it everything he had. Now look at them… still striving for excellence.

This whole thing still confuses the hell out of me. Why would Dan support my mom, when my mom needed nothing, she had a strong business, we took care of my aunt even, we were living well. Call me weird but I know, I just know, we were not living off Dan, we were not. Sometimes I wondered where my clothes or my pretty dresses came from, but I never thought that my mom would have any contact with Dan. The money was not from him, and I can promise that, my mother would never lie, not about Dan Scott anyway.

**Lucas' Point Of View**

It was pouring outside, so hard that you couldn't turn on the windshield wipers on fast enough to see. It was kind of chilly, and the rain made everything so cold. The rain smelt so sweet like the dew in the morning. It was November in Tree Hill, but this time, it was different, it wasn't like the previous years. I had a job, I had a family… I had Ashlyn.

She was mad the day we found out she couldn't play basketball anymore, she didn't cry in the doctors office, she didn't cry on the way home, as a matter of fact I don't think she cried until she walked into the gym that night.

She walked in and sat down on the bleachers, she looked around for a moment, then I think that's when she figured it was over, that's when I heard her sobbing. I couldn't say or do anything to make it better, I wanted to hold her, but truth is she didn't know I followed her. So I watched and I felt so helpless.

When she got home, I didn't even hint that I was there watching her cry. She sat down on the couch next to me; she took the popcorn off my lap and shoved some in her mouth. I asked where she was and she said at a cemetery. I didn't call her on her lie, I just nodded. Then she said something that surprised me, she said that she sorry. Her exact words, "Luc, call Nate, he said he wanted to get back at Dan. Let's do it. Okay?" I thought she was kidding and then she said it.

"We need to do this, actually I need this. He gave me this disease, not HCM, but this cold heart thing and I only feel it towards him, most days I overcome this feeling, but tonight I can't." She kissed me on my cheek. "Sorry Lucas, I have become a monster."

I went along that night, actually I drove. We picked up Nathan, lied to Brooke and lied to Haley. But we did it. Maybe, actually, I knew it was wrong, but she had that look in her eyes, the look that just called out for my help, and for once in my life I couldn't stop myself. I knew what would happen if we got caught, I knew that Dan would have one more reason to take her from us, but I didn't care. I had to be there for her, there were other ways, and I know that now. The way I saw it was Dan had nothing left to take, he had taken her from me that day in the doctor's office, when I saw that pain in her eyes I knew that what ever happened from that day on she needed us.

**Nathan's Point Of View**

My father is a controlling-powerful- self-centered asshole, my mother is a recovering junkie and alcoholic, my brother is pure genius, who plays with his heart, and controls with his mind, my wife is a singer songwriter, with amazing talent, she gives so much confidence, my sister, is a someone who deserved so much more, but took so much less, gives to the weak, wraps herself in other's problems when she is dying from a genetic defect, she is everything that she needs to be, and she doesn't even know it.

It isn't how I love her, it's why I love her.

_**Four Years Earlier**_

It was cold, we had never got any snow in the winter, but some days I figured the conditions were perfect. I had just gotten back from my visit with my mom, at her new rehab home, I was exhausted. I had listened to her problems, watched her cry, held her hand, and waited until she fell asleep. But one thing just kept sitting on my mind as I sat there. Before my mother fell asleep she looked at me, and she kissed my forehead, said she loved me, and then she handed me Ashlyn's sweatshirt and asked me to give it to her.

It was a Thursday, ten thirty; she was at The River Court, playing basketball. When I pulled up, they kept playing, I mean they looked at first, but then they went back to playing. They had a good crowd tonight, maybe two dozen people watching them play. Everyone was bundled up tight except for the players, Ashlyn was wearing a pair of sweatpants that were sagging to low and you could see her spandex she was wearing underneath, wearing one of my cut of sleeves, meaning the hole was way to long for her small body, and you could clearly see her pink sports bra. As I got out of the car I spotted Brooke sitting in the stands smiling at the game. I walked over and sat down next Brooke.

"Superstar, how are ya?" She asked flipping her hair away from her face.

I chuckled at her. "I am good. What about you Brooke?"

She smiled and turned to me. "Well I heard that this is the best damn show on Thursday nights, besides Grey's, that is." She laughed at herself. "I figured you'd be playing, where have you been?"

Man, she was quick with the questions tonight. I held out my visitors pass for the center and sighed, "With my mom." Brooke nodded, she was about to ask another question but I cut her off. "What's the score?"

"Uh, Scotts are down by three, but then again – you're not out there."

She was hinting that I should play and I knew it, but I just stood there. She held out her hand. "Give me you're phone and wallet, I'll watch it."

"Brooke…" I whined grabbing my wallet and placing it in her hand.

"Oh come on, it's not like you want the Scott Dynasty to come crashing down. Go." She pointed to the court and I slowly drug my feet out there.

The game stopped as soon as I stepped onto the cement. Lucas held the ball above his hip and turned to me, as did everyone else. Skills, who was shirtless in this cold whether, smiled. "Alright, Scotts against all," he said. "In five minutes, I need my water dawg."

I laughed and kept walking to where Ashlyn and Lucas were standing talking. Lucas laughed at something she said and that's when I started talking to them. "Hey."

Ashlyn smiled. "Hey Nate, how was your mom today?"

I smiled, like a genuine smile, "Good. She gave me your sweatshirt." I tried to sound casual as I point over to where I laid it.

She looked at me and grinned. "That's where I left it!"

"Wait," Lucas interjected, "you went to the rehab center?"

Ashlyn laughed and nodded. "Yeah, I had fun. We played bingo, and then Deb took my shopping in the gift shop…" I tune her out but I watch as her smile grows as she talks about my mother's rehab center. Her soft curly hair bounces up and down as she talks and she starts laughing, as so does Lucas.

I realize that I am standing there, also laughing.

"What do you say, we play some ball." I took the ball from Lucas and whistled Skill's team all came running ready to play. "Jump Ball," I declare as I walk to the center court. I look to Skills, with a questioning look.

"Ah hell, dawg, I'll jump." He steps closer to me, and then he points to Ashlyn. "Girl, get your skinny white ass over here. Let's see if my vertical still kicks your ass!"

Ashlyn walks over she crouches down in front of Skills. She bends her arm and gets ready to jump, just as I throw the ball straight up, I hear Ashlyn whisper. "By the way Bevin's pregnant." Skills stood there amazed and Ashlyn grabbed the ball a dribbled down the court and being the nice girl she is, she waited until Skills came down; then she scored.

_**Present Day**_

Sometimes I wonder what she is going to do with her life. If she is going to go to college on an athletic scholarship and then play pro basketball; maybe she'll throw it all away and become a dancer. I wonder if she'll get married, find love, find happiness, or what if she never grows up, what if everything just ends. I can see her running for The White House. I can see her becoming a teacher, who sings at the local coffee club for the rent money. I can see her happy in the arms of some man, living in California, with three bouncy children running around their house with a two car garage.

When I close my eyes and pray really hard, I see myself in her future, but most importantly I see her… in my future.

**Ashlyn's Point OF View**

When Dan walked back through the door I felt all my anger suddenly reappearing and my head started to hurt again. I hated this. I was just hit by a car, in a coma for a week, and now I feel like they hit me with a freaking semi truck!

He smiles deep like a cocky grin from the bottom of his heart, no matter how small they say it is. He is my father, hence the word, and I know he has a heart, good or bad, its there. I mean, come on, I have a genetic heart defect; he _has _to have a heart. Physically its there, but emotionally, well, he doesn't have emotions.

"So," He chuckled deeply. "Think you have the mystery figured out?"

I shake my head not believing a word that comes out of his mouth. I know the truth; I was raised with the truth. No money and no Dan. "There isn't a mystery."

Dan laughed and sat down in front of me, my stomach wrenched into knots and I thought my life was over. He reached his hand into his coat and pulled something from the deep pockets. "See that's where you're wrong." He unfolded the neat little paper and put it in my face forcing me to read it. "Tell me Ashlyn what does it say?"

I shut my eyes after I see my mother's name on the first line. He violently shakes the paper in my face, "Read it!" His voice is shaky, just like my clammy hands. "God Damn it! Just read the paper."

I tense up, and open my eyes. "Dear Mr. Dan Scott, this letter is written in the interest of Ashlyn Rose Scott. We feel that after a review of your current lifestyle, it would be best if Ashlyn spent the remaining time of her adolescence under your care. However, her mother, the legal guardian, feels that you would put other things before Ashlyn, and after a certain review requested by the mother, we have found a new home for her. We hereby declare that Lucas Eugene Scott and Nathaniel Royal Scott have full custody of Ashlyn Rose Scott." I groaned inwardly and rolled my eyes at Dan. "Okay, then they signed it. Why does this matter?"

Dan ran a hand through his neatly combed hair. "Your mother sent this to me the day before she died. I understood that she was upset with me, so I gave you space that day…" He was trying to sugarcoat the truth, and I wouldn't allow it.

"Stop!" I say harshly. "You can't make this right, okay? Give it up, all of it! I don't want you to be my dad," I yell. I am on a roll, and I will not stop. "You didn't want me that day at the hospital when I was born! If I believed in déjà vu, I'd say rolls are reversed… I don't want you!" I take a deep breathe. "You don't hold up a hospital, you let it go, move on."

Dan raised his hand like he was going to hit me, he stood up and looked down at me. Holes were burning through my chest and I wanted to get up and knock him down the totem pole. He took a deep breathe, I think he might cry, oh God, he is going to cry. "She wasn't your mother…"

"God Dan, give it up!" I cry in frustration.

"She loved you like a daughter, but truth is, she wasn't your mother…"

This time it is me, who raises the hand, and I clenched my fist and just before I knocked out his lights, I stopped.

"You were adopted…"

Her head snapped in his direction and her eyes were glistening from her tears. Her mouth twitched as she spoke, and very slowly she said, "I hope you mean by Lucas and Nate."

Dan shook his head, "I am sorry but no."

"You're not…sorry," Ashlyn said in a whisper. "You don't have a sorry bone in your body."

"Would you listen," He said in a low tone. "I know you hate me," he was sounding different, almost, like, he was sorry. "But you need to know this…"

Ashlyn put out her hand and stopped him. "Stop."

"No, you need to hear this."

"Don't lie."

"I won't."

Ashlyn laughed, "You just did."

He shook his head. "I need you to listen, okay? Five minutes." Dan took out the gun and set in down on the counter firmly in front of Ashlyn.

"Five minutes?"

He had calmed down. He had watched her clench her fist as he talked about her mom. That's when knew that she had to know the truth. He loved her, and in some twisted way, he knew, deep down he could make her love him.

He placed the gun at him, but still in Ashlyn's reach. He knew she wouldn't touch a gun, she wasn't him, she wasn't a monster. She looked at the gun for the longest time, she didn't look up she just ran a hand through her hair.

"Five minutes?" She repeated. It wasn't so much a question made for him, it was a reassurance for her fears.

Dan nodded. "Five minutes."

Ashlyn hesitantly nodded her head, "Okay."

"Okay. Listen before I start, I want you to know something okay?" Dan shut his eyes and took a deep breathe. "You have so many people that love you… just never forget that okay?" He was being nice, he becoming soft, he opened his heart and his voice was calm.

Ashlyn looked at him worried, "Dan, are you alright?" She asked.

Okay, so maybe she wasn't scared for the same reasons, but Dan Scott was being nice, he was trying to say something important, and he was actually caring for a moment.

He chuckled lightly, "Yeah, I'm fine. Okay you ready?" Ashlyn nodded. Dan looked at her and knew it was now or never.

"I met your mother at a youth basketball camp…"


	10. You're No Good

"That's not what…." She started to protest.

"I know, I know. Just hear me out," Dan waited for her approval then he started again. "She was working with younger kids, and one day after camp, we got together at a local bar." His voice started to fade and he wouldn't look her in the eye. "She was beautiful, she had your soft features, and her face, god, and you even have her eyes. We were ordering beers as she talked about her family back home, and then before I knew it… we were, drunk. We went back to her hotel room, and… well, you can guess what happened." Dan took a break and saw that she was listening, she wasn't crying but the tears were forming, just like they had been for the past hour.

"That morning I woke up and I remembered Nathan and Deb. I left without saying goodbye, or a note, I just disappeared." He shook his head in shame, he wasn't that same guy, or least not right now. "Weeks passed. It was about 2 months when I saw her again. She was in Karen's Café talking with Haley and Lucas like she'd known them forever. They were only eight, so when she walked out of Karen's and got in her car, I wanted to know what she was doing there, so I followed her."

"When she pulled into the car dealership I knew she was there to see me. When she walked into my office, she was smiling, but as soon as she sat down she looked me in the eye and said something I never thought I'd hear again." Dan looked at her and Ashlyn had tears rolling down her cheeks. This was going to be the hard part. "She told me she was pregnant with my child, when I started to protest, she stood and headed for the door, I told her I wouldn't give her anything, and she should terminate the baby." Ashlyn gasped as he said that.

"But she turned around and said 'I didn't come here to ask you for anything, I just thought you'd like to know that I am giving it up for adoption.' That was the last I ever saw of her for three more months."

Dan looked at Ashlyn for help but she turned her head in embarrassment.

"When she was five months I went to go and see her. I went to change her mind about giving you up, she said she was sorry but she wouldn't be around enough to take care of you, and she didn't trust me. She had already picked out your new mother, and that's who you grew up with, your adoptive mother, Meredith James."

Ashlyn was in shock, "How. Do . you, fit into this?" She asked very slowly.

"I tracked down Meredith and we made a deal, she was financially set, for good. The deal was that someday we'd tell you about me and about your birth mom, and maybe we could meet and become friends. When you were five months old, I got a call at work from Meredith, she was pissed, she started yelling at me about Nathan and Lucas…."

_**Flashback: **_

_Dan was going over the new car models that had just came in the dealership. He was even thinking about giving the newest car to Nathan as a birthday gift. He was deep in thought when his secretary paged him through the phone._

"_Dan- there's a Meredith James on line 1. She says it's urgent." Anna's voice ripped him away from the his old thoughts and he immediately pick up the phone._

"_I thought I told you never to call me here." He hissed through the receiver._

"_You're Dan Scott," She said upset. "You're THE Dan Scott! I can't believe I made a deal with you!"_

"_Whoa, what the hell are you talking about?" He said getting angry._

"_You are the man that left Karen! I can't believe this, you had another repeat with Ashlyn's mom! You are a no good evil man !" She yelled._

_Dan gripped the phone tighter and through clenched teeth he said, "You don't know anything about Karen or Lucas. That was my choice and someday…"_

"_The deal is off!" Meredith declared. "I met Karen along time ago at a training for local business. We caught up over coffee… and I asked about you." She took an inward sigh, "I can't believe you didn't tell you wife! You are such a snake…"_

"_You can't call this deal off…" Dan declared._

"_You're right, I can't." Dan could hear a baby's whine in the back. "But I have to. Sorry, Dan, you have messed up to many times. I can't let you ruin my daughter's life."_

"_I won't!"_

"_You will, you don't mean to Dan, but you screw everyone over… and I won't let you do that to her, I just won't."_

"_No! We can figure this out. I just want the best for her!" He was starting to slip._

"_If you really want her to have the best," Meredith said. "You'll go home and tell Nathan and Deb about her. You'll tell Karen you're sorry and let Lucas live a good life. Maybe when you change your ways, just maybe, you can be a part of her life. Until then, goodbye."_

"_Don't do this…"Dan begged. "I don't think she is a mistake, not anymore."_

"_But you did." Meredith reminded him bitterly. "It killed her, you know?"_

"_Who?" Dan asked._

"_Rose. Her birth mother, yeah, it killed her giving her up." Meredith told him, making him feel like a little tiny stone in the ocean. "Rose looked me in the eye and told me to love her like no one has ever loved her, and she told me that you were a monster. When I met you, I thought she was lying, then I talked to Karen…"_

"_I've changed!"_

"_But you're past hasn't." That was the last words Dan Scott ever heard from Meredith James in her short life._

_That night he went home and it didn't even faze him that he had just lost another child. He would always be the same Dan, cold and heartless._

_**End of Flashback**_

Ashlyn ran her fingers across the wheels on her wheelchair. She followed the outline back and forth she just couldn't take it all in. Her vision was blurry from all the crying that she had been doing, when Dan was done with his story, she looked over at him, her voice was hoarse.

"I need Lucas."

Dan looked at her shocked and a little hurt. "Huh? Er… I tell you the truth and all you can say is, you need Lucas?" His anger was back.

She only could let her tears drain from her eyes. "You just told me that my whole life was a lie!" She started shouting. "I want the only person I can trust, right now!"

"You don't believe me?!"

"I never…"

"Here!" He slammed down another piece of paper in front of her face, it was the adoption papers.

She shook her head as she read the name of her birth mother. Her whole life was a lie, and now it all made sense. Her birth mother was out there walking around living some life, while she sat there in shook. It felt like the walls were closing in and she couldn't do anything about it, she was like a fish in a fish bowl. She felt helpless, like there was nothing she could do.

"So," Ashlyn mumbled. "I really was adopted."

Lucas nodded. He had came in five minutes ago after Ashlyn screamed and kicked Dan out. She was out of her wheel chair curled against Lucas on the couch and Dan was standing in the corner watching them.

Lucas stroked her hair and she sat against his chest still in shock. He kissed her forehead, "Don't think about that, not now."

"You would have like her."

Lucas' eyes shot over to Dan, "Shut up. If you came to screw up our lives anymore, you did, so just go now."

"Luc, there's more."

"More what, sweetie?"

"People with guns…"

"Is that true?" Lucas said shifting ready to get up. "I heard you, but please tell me its not true."

Dan shut the door with a loud slam, "Just had to ruin the fun, didn't you?" Dan walked close to the couch where Lucas was shielding Ashlyn. "I was trying to be nice."

"You only wanted revenge," Lucas hissed. "I don't know who you are anymore."

Dan smiled, "Ya, me neither."

Jack perched himself up so he was sitting straight up facing Nathan. "You believe in heaven Nate?"

Nathan looked up from picking his nails and shrugged, "Yeah, I guess. Why?"

"I'm just thinking," Jack said. "Have you ever wondered what it would be like to go to heaven?" Nathan just glared at him, "Okay, well what else do you want me to do? We're locked in a stairwell. I am gonna die, so I just want to know what you think about heaven!"

Nathan stood up, "First, you're not gonna die. I won't let you die, not here at least, okay?"

"You really don't get it do you? I was dying even before I met you," Jack said smiling. "But thanks for the reassurance."

Nathan looked down, "Its gonna be beautiful, with a pond, lots of flowers, and the air will be clean. It won't be anything like this," Nathan wiped away the dust on the floor. "Ashlyn would always be afraid that she was gonna die. She used to paint this picture, roses, waterfalls, angels, God, and she'd place herself on the edge, she'd just sit and watch. She knows everything about her heaven."

"Her Heaven?"

"That's why we are getting out of here, because she already has a place to go and its back home, not to heaven."

Colors pass in front of their faces like the wind on a high strung day. Their hands are glued together, best friends, soothing words have been exchanged excessively through their long journey.

"We're stopping," Brooke pointed out as the group came to a halt. "Why are we stopping?" She stood on her toes and tried to look over the crowd but saw nothing.

"See anything?" Haley asked intrigued.

Brooke shook her head, "Nothing." She took Sawyer of her shoulder, she kissed his forehead, "I'm going up there. Watch him, okay? I'll be right back."

Haley took the infant and cradled him against her shoulder, "Brooke maybe… just wait." She looked at her best friend, "Please?"

"Hales, I'll be back in like five minutes. I'll get them moving again and then I'll come back." Brooke smiled sweetly showing off her big dimples, "You worry to much."

Haley rolled her eyes, "Yeah, I mean everyday a hospital gets held up with a gunman."

"So, can I go?" Brooke asked in an annoyed tone.

Haley groaned, "Yeah, just go." Haley looked at her sweaty palm that was now empty for Brooke was disappearing into the crowd. "Be careful," she mumbled to herself knowing Brooke was to far gone to even hear her.

"We're on the main floor aren't we?" Jack asked from his sitting position.

"Yeah," Nathan mumbled. "I just can't get this stupid door open. God, why would you lock the stairwell?" He once again hit his fist on the door and cursed loudly. "Damn!"

"Nathan, you're safe, that's probably what your sister wants."

Nathan shook his head, "I know, but it's supposed to be me keeping her safe. It isn't supposed to be me hoping she's okay, I am just supposed to know, it's my job, and more importantly is my duty. I should be with her right now! Not here… I was never supposed to even be here, at this hospital, in this stairwell, in this town, none of this would have ever happened if I just would have kept my promise."

"Nathan… you're too hard on yourself."

"That's how it should be!"

Lucas was face to face with Dan. So close their noses were almost touching, so close they were breathing each other's air.

"You're a devil."

"Lucas, there is no need to be bitter."

Lucas chuckled, "How dare you! How dare you come in here and tell her the truth, not after all this, how dare you do this! What the hell is wrong with you, huh? You can't go around screwing with people! This is going to end, its going to end today! You have to stop this bullshit!"

Dan shoved Lucas back a bit. "Oh yeah? Just what are you gonna do about it? Huh?"

"I won't fight fire with fire."

"Lucas…"

"I won't be a coward for the rest of my life, I am gonna take you down today!"

"Lucas…"

"I won't let you push around my family again."

"Lucas!" Lucas quickly turned around to see a very pale Ashlyn sitting on the couch clutching her chest and crying in pain. "Lucas, it hurts." A new set of tears were rolling down her cheeks, "Luc? God, Luc, everything seems so faarrrr……"

Lucas grabbed her wrist checking for her pulse and found out very quickly that it wasn't even as half as strong as it should be. He grabbed her limp neck and held it up as he constantly tried to talk to her, "Baby, can you hear me?"

Her eyes nearly fluttered, "Luc?"

"That's right sweetie, its me Luc. I need you to hold on tight okay? Just keep breathing." Lucas looked to Dan, who was standing there in awe, "We have to get her outside, to a doctor!" Dan was about to hesitate. "Please," He begged. "I don't care if you hate me or Nathan. I don't care if you are disappointed in me, or my life, I don't care! I don't care that my mom chose Keith over you, I just don't care, but the one thing I do care about…her, Ashlyn and you at least owe me this, You've taken everything else. I know what people say but Dan, I know you have a heart somewhere, so search deep and find it because I know that the man that wanted her to be apart of his life… he wouldn't let her die, not when she's come this far, with or without him."

The embarrassment on Dan's face was mixed with guilt and slowly like a snake in water he stepped aside and opened the door. Lucas picked up her body, held her tight against her chest and turned for the door. Dan stepped in front of him with a shameless look on his face, "Let me go first."

It had been a long time since Haley had seen Brooke. She heard shouts coming from the front of the crowd and she slowly made her way up to the front. "Excuse me. Please move." She squeezed her tiny body through the complicated maze of a million people. She came to a sudden halt when a man stopped her.

"Listen lady, don't go up there," He warned her in a soft tone.

"I have to," Haley said. "My best friend is somewhere up there…" She was cut of by the sudden crying of Sawyer. "Shhhh…" She cooed softly. _God, out of all times this kid starts to cry. Ugh not once in his life does he make a noise and now he starts. _Haley bounced him up and down and tried to get him to stop, but he kept going like he knew, it was almost as if he knew that something terribly wrong was about to happen. And then it did.

The sound so loud that it came piercing through the air louder than all of the screams and shouts. The sound that rang, the sound that stopped the baby's cries, and it was the sound of the gun taking someone's life.

"Brooke!" Haley screamed at the tops of her lungs. She ran to the sound panicking and praying that it wasn't her. "Brooke!"

There is a pool of her own blood laid the lifeless body of Brooke Scott. Her eyes were rolled back and she laid motionless as Haley dropped to the floor and cried for her best friend.

"Brooke, c'mon Brooke, don't do this… Brooke!" She screamed as her own white shirt filled with blood, Brooke's blood. "Brooooke," She sobbed against her shoulder. She cradled Brooke head in her lap and sobbed. "Brooke… just open your eyes, please, don't go. I need you."

Woke up and wished that I was dead

With an aching in my head

I lay motionless in bed

I thought of you and where you'd gone

and let the world spin madly on

Everything that I said I'd do

Like make the world brand new

And take the time for you

I just got lost and slept right through the dawn

And the world spins madly on

I let the day go by

I always say goodbye

I watch the stars from my window sill

The whole world is moving and I'm standing still

Woke up and wished that I was dead

With an aching in my head

I lay motionless in bed

The night is here and the day is gone

And the world spins madly on

I thought of you and where you'd gone

And the world spins madly on.


	11. All We Ever Find

Lucas came to a sudden halt when he heard that noise, he looked to the unconscious girl in his arms and then to the band on his finger. It was like somebody pushed him, he ran so fast and he pushed the elevator button over and over again until the doors opened. "Where the hell are Brooke and Sawyer?"

Ashlyn stirred against his chest and he just held on tighter, "Its okay, I got you." He repeated it over and over in his head until it seemed that it was going to be all right. He watched as her chest rose and fell in a solid rhythm. The doors opened and there he saw what just about killed him.

* * *

Everyone was shocked as the gunman slowly stepped outside; he set down his gun and slowly got on his knees waiting for the police to come to him. As the room slowly cleared, there in the middle was four EMTs working on Brooke, and Haley was covering her mouth and sobbing against one man as another held Sawyer.

* * *

"Nathan?" Lucas asked as he saw his brother's frustrated face through the three-inch space when he walked out of the elevator.

"Lucas!"

Lucas opened the door and both boys froze, "I… you were with… where's Brooke and Haley?"

"Lynnie? Oh God," He ran his rough palm across her forehead. "Luc, man, what happened?" Then he saw him from behind Lucas stepped Dan. "You son of a bitch!" Nathan lunged forward and was caught by Lucas' glare.

"We've got to get her help, she's not good," Lucas told him. "We don't have a lot of time."

Nathan turned back and saw Jack sitting and knowing he couldn't walk Nathan hesitated.

"Would you stop being a girl," Jack laughed. "Go. Save your sister."

"Jack…" Nathan hesitated.

"He's right Nate, we don't' have time." Lucas said already walking

down the hall with his sister still in his arms.

Nathan looked to Jack, "I'll be back, I promise." He ran to catch up to Lucas. They walked in equal strides both pushing faster and faster as the walked. As the hallway ended they could hear the noise coming from outside and they could almost feel the sun's ray's.

Nathan was the first to stop when he saw Haley crying alone with Sawyer. She was trying to catch her breath and Sawyer was crying against her shoulder.

Lucas followed in suit when he saw her. The white sheet only covered the bottom half of her body. Her could clearly see his face and he could see her wound that was bleeding. The tears stung the back of his eyes as his legs turned to jelly.

Nathan moved to take Ashlyn from his arms, "Lucas," He said softly. "Luc, let go, okay? I'll take her." And slowly he did as he was told; he transferred her from his arms to Nathan's.

Nathan watched as his brother walked slowly to his wife, he knelt down on one knee and kissed her forehead. He slowly brought her knuckles to his lips and kissed each one before just holding her hand. His smile was broken with the tears that were streaming down his cheeks. Lucas pushed the strands of falling hair out of her face and he kissed her lips as she lied on the floor. Lucas just needed one last moment where he could be intrigued by her beauty. Nathan knew what he was doing, he was holding on, Lucas Scott was holding it together, and holding on. With _everything _that he had.

Nathan felt a heavy hand on his shoulder and he turned to see Dan.

"Nate…" Nathan ignored him and walked to where Haley stood.

She looked up and tried to smile but couldn't and Nathan understood that, he wouldn't smile either, not now. They watched, not in some sick and creepy way, but in a way that in ten years they could look back and remember that they were here, and the pain they felt- it was real.

The reporters were there waiting for the last ones the leave the building, they were waiting for the Scotts, for not one had been seen the whole day. Dan was the first to be brought out, with his head down and his hands behind his back, and even some swore they saw tears streaming form his eyes.

Then when the doors opened out came a stretcher with Brooke on it and Lucas on one side and Haley on the other holding Sawyer, and trailing behind was Nathan still holding his sister tight to his chest. All had tears in their eyes as the watched Brooke fade away as the sheet was brought over her head. Nathan cried as he handed his limp sister to a doctor and waited for a response.

"Nathan," Haley urged standing next to him. "She needs to be looked at. It'll be fine." Haley stood next to the stretcher, "Nate, you can still hold her hand."

Slowly Nathan set Ashlyn down on the stretcher. He lets her headrest softly and took her hand and didn't let go. "Ash," he whispered. "I'm right here." Nathan looked to the paramedics. "She has HCM."

As they stood their deciding who'd ride with Ashlyn to the next hospital Nathan saw Jack's family and his pregnant daughter wrap her arms around his neck.

"Nate?" Lucas asked still teary-eyed. "You can go man…"

Nathan shook his head, "No, we'll all ride. I can't loose you, not now."

* * *

It was late at night by the time they finally each saw a doctor. Nathan was still waiting to outside of the room for Haley, who insisted she went in alone. When the door finally opened it was the nurse who came out and looked at Nathan with heavy eyes.

"Your wife would like it if you came in now." Nathan followed the nurse into the room and found Haley lying on a bed with a hand wrapped around the metal bar.

Nathan took her hand off the bar and securely wrapped him hand around her tiny little hand. "How's it going?"

"Nathan," Haley said. "I need to tell you something."

"Hales…"

"We're pregnant." Haley was looking for something, maybe for him to be mad, or maybe for him to be shocked but he simply looked up and kissed her hand.

"I know."

"You do?" Haley asked back. "I just didn't tell you, because you know, we finally found Ashlyn, and you were getting happy, and Lucas…"

"Haley. Lucas found your test in his garbage and told me." Nathan smiled and took his free hand and placed it on top of Haley's hand, which so happened to be resting on stomach.

"Ah hem!" The doctor that was waiting so patiently stepped out from behind the curtain.

Haley's cheeks turned a bright shade of red, and Nathan just smiled at the doctor.

"Evening Doc."

"Mr. Scott." She pulled out her clipboard and started writing things down, "Okay, well Haley your tests came back clean and the baby is doing wonderful. If you don't have any questions, I am done here. You are free to go as soon as you are ready."

"Thank-you so much," Haley said as she shook the doctor's hand.

* * *

Lucas watched as they injected his sister with some kind of pain reliever that would make everything better. It had been a long day since he arrived at the hospital, he had called his mom, he had called Brooke's parents, he had made sure he was in the room when Sawyer was looked at, he called the police station about Dan's trail, and he himself had be questioned by five police officers. So, here he sat just waiting for something else to go wrong.

Nathan and Haley took Sawyer back to the hotel where Haley would spend the night. After everything that they had been through both men thought that it would be best if Haley slept on a real bed, and she insisted that Nathan stayed with her or she wasn't going to stay at all.

He felt her flinch from underneath his hand; he skimmed his hand over her hair, "Ashlyn?" A small smile formed on her face and slowly squinted her eyes open. "Hey. You've been out for a couple hours, how are you feeling?"

She cleared her throat, "Is it over?"

Lucas ignored the tear in his heart and slowly nodded at her, "Yeah, Dan's in jail. As a matter of fact Nathan and Haley are having a baby."

Ashlyn mustered a smile, "That's great. Where are they? I want to congratulate them." She started to sit up and Lucas stopped her.

"At the hotel with Sawyer."

She twisted her face, "And where's Brooke?"

Lucas looked to the floor. Somehow telling Brooke's parents she was dead was a lot easier than telling Ashlyn. Her question was filled with hope, Lucas couldn't take that away from her, and he just couldn't be the one to crush her.

Lucas ran his hand over her sheets; he flattened them as he prepared himself for what he was about to do.

"Did something happen?" Once again her face strained. Just like that she felt her eyes moisten with tears. "Luc?"

He looked up, his own eyes filled with tears, "Uh huh, something happened." Lucas didn't want to tell her, he hated always being the one to bring the crap news. He ran a hand through his hair and he spoke softly, "Honey, they did everything that they could, but by the time they even saw her… it was too late." He moved closer to embrace her as she cried.

She was crying hysterically, "How?" Lucas just held her tighter not wanting to give away anything that shouldn't be given.

She shoved Lucas away, "HOW!?"

Lucas bit his bottom lip, "She was shot."

"No… god, no… Lucas," She cried for him. Lucas wrapped his arms around her tender body. "Oh, God… Luc what are we going to do? This is my entire fault… I'm so sorry. Sorry Luc, I am so sorry…"

"Its not your fault," He sobbed along with her. "I don't want to ever hear that again, okay?"

"But, if I just would have…"

Lucas kissed her forehead, as they both cried, "No This is not your fault." He kissed her head again, "I need to be okay with this, don't beat yourself up, this is not your fault, nor will it ever be. Brooke wouldn't want you beating yourself up over this."

After minutes both of their crying had softened and Lucas was helping lay back down, "Just try getting some sleep, okay?"

As Lucas backed away Ashlyn grabbed his hand, "Just till I fall asleep," she squeezed his hand. "And be here when I wake up," She sniffled away the tears threatening to fall. "Be here forever, okay?"

Lucas moved closer and smiled at her, "Ashlyn, get some rest, I'll be here when you wake up, and I'll be with you forever."

Ashlyn lowered her head, "It wasn't Dan was it?" Her voice cracked. She started playing with her hands and on instinct she went to grab her sweatshirt, but remembered she wasn't wearing one.

Lucas lowered his head also, he thought about lying and saying yes, but no matter who shot Brooke somehow Dan would be at fault. Lucas noticed her go for her sweatshirt that wasn't there. He saw her start twisting around her wrists and then he remembered what else he saw, her tattoo. 'If you're a bird, I'm a bird.' Words like that seem to stay put in his mind, it was her way of saying that I'm just like them in everyway and every lie. Lucas Scott couldn't have his sister be a liar.

He raised his head and gave her hand a light squeeze, "No, he did not shoot that gun."

Through her sorrow and through her tears she scuffed at him, "But in so many ways he did." She let out a frustrated sigh, "…in so many ways I shot the gun." Lucas was about to protest when she put both hands on top of her head and shut her eyes, "When did we get so bad?"

Lucas rested his chin on his hands and watched her, "Sweetie…"

"Just say it," she said.

"We aren't bad," he told her. "We are getting back to where ever someone once called us normal. This, I mean Brooke, it's a bump," He stuttered at her name, "no it's huge, but we'll get through this. Someday, we will look back on this day and we're going to know that we made it." He felt the warm salty tears trickling down his cheeks he looked and saw her eyes filled with what seemed to be the size of the ocean, "And on that day, we're going to be okay. We're just on this road and it's taking us back home."

Ashlyn looked away at the wall, at something other than her crying brother. She let the thoughts run in her head.

Brooke was dead. Her so-called 'Mom' was dead. Every mother figure that she ever had in her life was dead. Every little person that used to make her strong is dead. She was adopted. It took her two mothers, maybe it was God's way of saying, "Hey Ashlyn, you've got to figure this whole life thing out on you own." Two moms dead. One somewhere in California. One at a hotel room mourning for the lose of something great. A dad who is in jail. But in everyway she still had it all- she still had her brothers.

Maybe God wasn't kidding when he told her two count them twice.

"Luc," She whimpered. Reaching for her hand and once she got it she pointed to the window, "It's raining." A fresh little stream of tears trickled down he cheeks. Ashlyn let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

Lucas shut his eyes trying to male a barricade to stop the tears and it didn't stop a single tear from escaping and rolling down his cold face.

"Ye…" He took a deep breath, "yeah, it's raining."

Ashlyn laid her head against Lucas' shoulder and shut her eyes, she let her tear soak up the shirt that he was wearing.

"Hey Luc?"

"Yeah?"

"She's must be in heaven," Ashlyn's breathing slowed down. "She's just got to be there, right?"

Lucas nodded and rubbed her arm, "She is." Lucas kissed her forehead and she laid against him with her eyes shut, "She's right next to your mom and their dumping out this rain."

* * *

Dear Whoever Listens at This Time of the Night,

It's me, Ashlyn. You know that one that you keep tearing apart? Yeah, that girl. Its been along time since you've heard from me, hasn't it? Yeah, I'd say that I am sorry but I'm not. Anyways, please don't think that I am here to beg for Brooke back, because I know that you can't do that. Sometimes, I think, you only take and never give. But, can you just let her read this, or tell her something for me. Here it goes (no laughing): Brooke, I love you. I love everything that you ever did for me and all the stupid things that I never did for you, I am sorry. I am so sorry that you can't be here and watch your son grow and become a man just like his father and my brother. I am sorry that you'll never be able to hear him talk or see Haley's baby. But you want to know what makes me so sad, that fact that you never got to tell Lucas that you knew where I was the whole time, but I'll do that know. Don't worry. Brooke, I love you.

With Every Once of Love I Have,

Ashlyn.


End file.
